Are you a Philosopher?

You are, good, then please “consider the following”:
(Sorry Nye but you’ve been out of the picture since 7^th grade I don’t think coining the term is going to save your career.)

Let’s start at the beginning. About a week into my term in hell, some call it Wal-Mart, I call it hell. (It may seem like it’s just a nice place to shop, having “everyday low prices” and smiling clerks, but it’s not. Although being the largest company in the world (based on revenue) allows them to sell certain items at a loss, the smiles are as manufactured as what you’re buying. You see, there is a little thing Sam Walton likes to call the “Three Metre Rule”. A sign every Wal-Mart employee spots before setting foot on the floor states that whenever within three metres of a customer we must smile. As much as we may loathe the fact that you are purchasing goods from our evil employers we cannot so much as give you a sour glance. Over exaggerating? No, you need to see “Wally World” for what it is. Unfortunately, it has taken me a year and a half to realize that and I will soon escape!) I was asked/told/forced to clean the “Smoke Shack” (A place where zombies, slaves to their cancers (that one's for you James Wade), go to suck ash) which basically consisted of me taking out their coffee filled garbages. This time was different. Amongst the half filled Double-quad-mocha-cappuccino-toffee-mocha-lattes lay a car alternator. An alternator that would lead to a new style that I didn’t much care for: Double-quad-mocha-cappuccino-toffee-mocha-latte covered Dickies. I was unable to go home and change as the people demanded a contraption that carried their goods for them. Needless to say it was a horrible Double-quad-mocha-cappuccino-toffee-mocha-latte-ridden day and it was also the last day I ever cleaned the Cancer Shack. So, naturally, when asked very politely by a colleague of mine to clean it once more I said “I’ll try” (F-You). To which she replied “Do or do not, there is no try.”
Now, is it just me or is she attempting to step a little outside her boundaries as a Wal-Mart employee? I do not believe philosophizing cart boys is in your job description. I think you should be stocking some shelves. Perhaps while you’re on your break, in between sucking on your thought controlling cylinder and talking about how wasted you were last night you can tidy-up your own damn shack.
If you decide to take the path of the theorist, which I do not suggest, you should really come up with your own thought provoking aphorisms. Taking them from fictional characters isn’t working too well for you. Yes, Yoda, the Jedi Master himself said that in a galaxy far, far away before any Wal-Mart employee tried to pass themselves off as a Philosopher.

...I shoulda said that.

-Teck

Alix? Are you there? ...Oh well.