The Neverland Plan

The door to adulthood is no longer at far end of an infinite hallway. It has finally been reached and after years of skepticism, walked through. I didn’t feel the change as much as some hoped to hear when asking, “So, do you feel like an adult.” I have said it many times before; I don’t think I’ll ever grow up. Some live their lives in the dream world; I will live mine in Neverland. My Neverland is slightly different from J.M. Barrie’s, however, in that it contains grow-ups. This will allow me to benefit from the trials and errors of the elders whilst still having all the fun Peter and Wendy had.
At the cost of acting my age every once in a while, I’m able to have all the fun a kid does all the while having the privileges of an adult. For example: I can still laugh my ass off at movies like Billy Madison and CB4 and, at the same time, I don’t have to notify my Mom if the TV says “Parental Discretion Advised”. Granted, I look like I’m twelve so, if I am caught doing something stupid the elders shrug it off as another immature kid. Yes, the plan is irrefutable!
The “Neverland Plan” (Trademark, Terry Ecklund, 2006) can be taken advantage of by anyone, however, the problem many people run into when trying to execute it is that, when choosing what is categorized as immature and mature, certain things are placed in the wrong group; most frequent of which is the Parent/Child relationship. Too many people are afraid of what others might think if the love for their parents is publicly displayed. I don’t particularly advocate the holding of hands while walking through the mall with a parent and their 18-year-old child. Nor should anyone with an age ending in “teen” call their parents “Mommy” and “Daddy”; at a certain point, it’s just strange¹.
On the contrary to popular belief it IS cool to love the ‘rents and even cooler to show it. I am, as many of you have heard, a mama’s boy; and I always will be; so much, in fact, that the last three girlfriends I have had, have all worked at the hospital (where my Mom works). Weird! The sub-conscious scares me sometimes.
Even as an adult, there are times you just need your Mom or Dad to help you through a rough time. The other day working at Wal-Mart I cut myself using an X-Acto knife and immediately after made my way to the emergency room. Walking to my car (so I could drive myself to the hospital) holding my hemorrhaging finger, I called Mom. Unfortunately, I got the answering machine:

“Mom, I cut my finger pretty bad at work so I’m going to the emergency room. I guess I’ll see you there when you get this.”

I waited for hours holding the finger, my doctor would later tell me, needed five stitches. I was amazed to see that the comforting and, at times, healing kiss my Mother had, lives on in something as small as her presence. When my Mom received my message and frantically showed up to the hospital the pain seemed to subside. The pain came right back ten-fold when the freezing for the stitches was put in, I think it was because she left the room so as not to puke.

1. At Wal-Mart I once saw a woman, about 20 years of age, saying: “Mommy, come and look at this blanket!” I wanted to punch her in the face; instead, I called my Manager and told him that after the day’s shift I would no longer be working for him. Yes, Wal-Mart is in the past, I’ll have to find my inspiration elsewhere.

-Teck

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Noteworthy: For those of you who miss the good ol’ days of ScruffingTeck, a couple friends of mine are running a site headlining many of their hilarious movies. They have also been generous enough to toss up tons of the old ScruffingTeck favourites. I highly recommend checking them out especially if you are a frequent reader. The link to the Generic Gamers will permanently be up in the “Links” section. Thanks Aaron! Cheers!

Noteworthy (2): We’ve both noticed that I have been slipping a bit when it comes to entries. I’ll keep them coming but I think I’ll need a few days of leeway unless you guys want crap. I have been really busy with school and so I haven’t really been looking for things to write about. If you guys keep reading I’ll keep writing! Peace.

Noteworthy (3): I just said “Peace.” Is that allowed?