FW: Pleeeeeaseeeeeeeee Quit It!

Recently, I received a message in my inbox that was meant to touch my heart. A message intended to spawn sympathy from millions as it floods the inboxes of the gullible and, more importantly, intelligent. I believe myself to be included in the latter category as, when I am delivered a message saying that my E-mail account is going to be shutdown if I don’t forward this message, I don’t put forth the effort to send it. Hotmail will never make you pay for your account because: 1. Hotmail is owned by Microsoft, I don't know if you have heard of that company before but it just so happens to rake in quite a bit of cash. 2. MSN makes all of its money on advertisements, if they started charging for accounts they would have less people signing up and less people would want to advertise with them. 3. It is impossible to track how many times E-Mail gets sent from person to person.)
I am also often told that if I don’t forward this to 8 or more people I’m going to be lonely for the rest of my life. I’m here to tell you that you aren't going to be cursed with a bad love life, trust me, I quit forwarding these E-mails a very long time ago and I’m currently dating a beautiful girl and yes, she has consented to this relationship. If you honestly think that forwarding E-mail is going to get your thing wet, you are very sadly mistaken. That crush of yours will tell you exactly that, so instead of sending me a letter in hopes of gettin’ some, get out there and WORK IT!
The third type of chain-mail, the type that brings this rant to “Let’s Talk Teck” is the seemingly more frequent poor child cry:


“Dear: All,” in hopes of once and for all breaking the chain that inevitably leads to my inbox I am releasing a public announcement to those who still do not realize how much of a joke chain-mail is.
A great sign of scum in your inbox can be seen before opening the message as the subject will almost always read: “FW: THIS IS NOT A JOKE”, “FW: PLEASE READ” or the even more intriguing “FW: Pleeeeeaseeeeeeeee do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” as the Natalie E-mail. The people (for lack of a better word) sending these E-Mails are just a bunch of morons who think: "Wouldn't it be sweet if we wrote an E-Mail that got sent to thousands of people?" The answer, of course, is NO! It wouldn't be sweet, because I am always one of those thousand people.
If you read carefully…who am I kidding? If you read this at all you can tell it wasn’t written by a woman who desperately wants to save her child. The fact that she put quotation marks around a disease and didn’t take the care to use a spellchecker (“unfortunatly”) shows that she doesn’t care enough to put some effort into it. One of the biggest hints is the motive for keeping the chain going: if you send this E-mail AOL (who doesn’t have their logo on this picture at all, which is very odd considering their major push to sponsor “little Natalie” would be for good Public Relations) “have agreed to give us 5 cents (emphasis) to each person that received this e-mail.” The fact that I’m unsure as to what will happen if I do send this E-mail due to the very confusing message is irrelevant. For unless this E-mail is send to approximately 4 million people, the bill for the average chemotherapy treatment ($200, 000) will not be payable.
Natalie is not suffering from “ ‘Brain Cancer’ “and probably doesn’t even exist. However if she does exist, judging by the picture and the words “new born baby,” she isn’t more than a few months old so they can’t be too attached to her.

“Yours Sincere:”

-Teck

Make A Wish!

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Now quit scrolling, get out there and make that wish come true! 'Cause an E-mail sure as hell isn't gonna do it for you.

Living For The Highlights

You had quite a week... On Monday you and a group of your friends execute a plan to go camping at Beaver Mines. You haven’t been camping in quite some time, because your family just isn’t up for the hassle anymore. It’s unfortunate but it makes the times you do go that much better. A friend of yours shows you a great spot to set up camp; and so begins what you and your crowd hope will be a great time. Only straying from the “Things to Do When Camping” list a few times (Blowing air and car horns at sleeping members of your camping party, getting fingers stuck in tiki-torches, leaving a couple coolers out so a Bear can drink your beer) you were afforded a great few days. The group decides to go cliff jumping which sets the “fun bar” pretty high. (You enjoy it so much, in fact, that you talk about setting up a trip later in August for yourself and some of the Grads.) Although you have been having plenty of fun you are very glad to leave early Wednesday morning because a few people were driving you fucking insane…if you know what you mean.
Arriving home around 12 O’clock you try to get everything unpacked quickly because that’s all that stands between you and a hang-out session with your girlfriend. She just happens to call, “Hi”, she sounds sick.
”How’re you?”
Yup, she’s sick.
”That sucks, I was going to ask if you wanted to hang out but I guess that won’t be happening”
She can’t go to Our Lady Peace tonight, do you want to go in her place?
”Uhm, sure I’ll go”
She’ll see you when she sees you.
”Bye”
You go to the OLP show with low expectations because the band has been on a downward spiral since their album Clumsy. Stabilo is opening though; it should be a pretty good show. In the crowd you see a few friends you haven’t seen in a while. It’s okay with Alix if you stand with them for the show, so you do.

-Rock Out-

The show ends leaving you surprised at how much what you just saw exceeded your expectations. You also have a pretty good feeling about the Stephen Harper joke you cracked. But there is no time to stay awake and think about the show. Hopefully the ringing in your ears will subside enough for you to be able to sleep. Warped Tour Tomorrow!

-Sleep-

You wake up to the familiar “Mmmm I’m on vibrate” ring of your cell phone. It’s Justin, “Hi”, he’s wide awake and you haven’t felt this tired since grade school, the bastard...

”Kevin said we were going to leave around 7:30.”
He thought everyone was leaving at 7 (the time you were planning on waking up.)
”No, we’re leaving at 7:30. I’m going back to sleep now.”

-Sleep-

One again your cell phone brings you out of a fantastic(ally odd) dream. After looking at the clock you realize the phone has good reason to be waking you: it’s 7:39.
”Give me 15 minutes”
You’re allowed 10.
”OK Bye”
After a very quick shower you return the call.
”I’m ready.”
They’ll see you in a bit.

They see you, and you’re on your way with Justin as your passenger. Listening to Eddie Murphy’s Delirious makes the ride go faster than usual, comedy always does. You pull into the Race City Speedway parking lot and are witness to a great congregation of cars and their owners. It’s going to be hell to get out of here, but first…sweet, sweet purgatory.
The day long musical orgy flashes by faster than the drive despite it being 4 times as long. You try to collect your thoughts and make a highlight reel but with everything that went on (meeting bands like Moneen, catching the set list Justin Pierre (Motion City Soundtrack) threw, holding up George Pettit from Alexisonfire as well as meeting Wade MacNeil and Chris Steele, touching Geoff Rickly (Thursday) and Spencer Chamberlain (Underoath), throwing the horns for Davey Havok (AFI) after crowd surfing and having him acknowledge them) the highlight reel ends up encompassing the entire day.

You arrive home Friday afternoon after spending the night at your Aunt and Uncle’s house. She’s still not a hundred percent and your close friends are either working or still up in Calgary waiting for the Story of the Year concert. There’s nothing to do and it seems this will be the crash period of your week-long high. You realize that, unlike the concert, your whole life can’t be a highlight reel, so you will have to live your life for the days that can.

-Teck

You’re sick of missing her, she’s just sick

I Need Some Stories

I love to write, especially for you. But, I’m the same way with writing as I am with art. I’ll only show it off if I really like it. Which is why right now I’m dying trying to figure out how to portray my thoughts in a way that may provoke some of your own. It seems I have been sitting here for two weeks trying to conjure up something that will hit all the right taste buds, while the entire world around me bounces from hectic to utter boredom. Unfortunately, for you (I’m guessing) and me I can’t think of a way to write what I want to say. Usually I’ll come into a post with a story and the story will have a moral to it, just like any good Berenstain Bears book. The problem is I haven’t really been getting out into the world that gives me the material for the though-provoking stories I talk about. I’ve mostly just been sitting at home for the majority of the day and waiting for my friends to get home from work. The most action, in the story sense, I have been seeing has been at Wal-Mart; which, I guess will have to do if I’m to quench my thirst for writing this week. Quite a while ago I had what some might call a date (we sat at the same table to eat), in the Wal-Mart lunchroom:

I sat down to eat my Lasagna Alfredo after cooking it in the microwave for the suggested time on the box. Shortly after I sat down I was joined by a girl who I would simply describe as “new” (seeing as how I had never seen her before, I would consider this description to be accurate.) We both elegantly devoured our TV dinners without saying a word and, as I had shopping to do, I had to cut our lovely engagement short. “This was nice, we should do it again sometime” I said as I threw away my cardboard plate and plastic fork.

Soon after our date she had people in her department scouting me out so they could get a look at my name tag. She found it out quite quickly, not as quickly as she would have had she just asked me, but quickly nonetheless. I was and continue to be reminded that she knows my name every single time I pass the shoe department (no matter how briefly) by her shout of my name accompanied by a “Hi!” This aided me in correctly making the assumption that she is “into” me. My assumption was violently pushed away from any doubt I had when her friend ran up to me and asked a question that, for all those girls out there, will not be answered in the way you wish it to be. “Hey Terry, will you go out with Lori (the girl I went on the date with.)” To which I replied, “Sorry, I have a girlfriend.” Which I did and still do, but I digress, the point is: stuff like that doesn’t work and people need to realize it. Lori figured it out and has also figured out that I am not interested, however, a short time ago she passed the number of a girl from Jewelry onto me. Now, this hasn’t been written to make me look like a Wal-Mart chick magnet or anything, I’ve been working there for nearly two years and this just so happened to all take place in a month. In actuality this was written so you could have something to read and to give me motivation to get out of my house. A big pet peeve of mine is not taking advantage of the time you have. It seems I have become my own vexation.

-Teck

Summertime and the livin’ is easy

Guest Entry: Mom

'PROV! has been keeping me pretty busy (it's going great, by the way, and we'll eventually be showing it at the Movie Mill) and when my Mom heard that I might not be able to put anything up this week she decided to give blogging a shot. She was a reporter at the Lethbridge Herald for many years and won the "Excellence in Education Reporting" award in Alberta four times. So I would say she is qualified to publish some work here. Without further adue, my Mom:

I’ve been a big fan of Terry’s blog since it began – I guess I have to be since I’m his mom. Regardless of the family connection, I’ve thought that Terry’s messages often have a lot of insight and show a lot of maturity – I would apply the same statement to many of the comments from his friends.

Amy, you deserve huge respect for your response to what Terry wrote. I was also really impressed with Jeff Arnold when he took responsibility and talked about the lessons he had learned following a food fight at the school cafeteria.

But what I wanted to write about more than anything else is this whole graduation thing. If all of you Grade 12 grads think it’s strange to be finished with high school and looking forward to all the incredible possibilities – I hope you’ll take a minute to think of it from the perspective of your parents.

I keep saying that I’m not old enough to have a son on the brink of turning 18 and entering university. I feel like it was just five minutes ago that he was born, blinking up at me through those gorgeous blue eyes as if to say “so you’re the one I’ve been kicking the crap out of for the last few months”.

I find myself re-thinking all the rules:

1. It’s a school night; you need to be home by 10 p.m.
2. Your homework has to be done before you go out with friends.
3. Friends have to go home before 11 p.m.
4. Don’t swear

We actually never had that many rules in our home because Terry never gave us a lot of grief. But I still find myself thinking about how to handle all the challenges to come. It’s a big world out there and the desire we have as parents to keep you safe and protected doesn’t just end because you’ve finished high school and will soon or have already crossed the threshold into adulthood.

So I guess (if Terry chooses to post this message) what I’m trying to ask is that you all cut your parents a bit of slack in the coming months… we’re also adjusting to this new reality.

My daughter (she’s 10) asked me when I’m going to “kick Terry out” (she wants his room) and I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around the day he moves out of our home. It was just he and I for so many years that I’m pretty sure the day he does move away from home will be an emotional day for me.

Still, our job as parents is to give our kids the skills, the tools they need to make it in the world so I acknowledge that one day I will help him pack his bags and I’ll cull my kitchen supplies, linens and pantry (just like my mom did for me) to help him get a good start in his new life.

But, he’s still here so I guess I can take another shot at some of the advice I’ve been giving him since Grade 7:

* Take me up on the offer to learn to do your own laundry

* Take me up on the offer to learn to cook some basic meals

* Mow the lawn every once in a while because one day you’ll have your own home and it’ll be your responsibility

* Pitch in with the household chores more frequently – when you have your own place, supper won’t miraculously appear on the table, lunch won’t be packed and ready when you leave for university or work, and the sink in the bathroom won’t be wiped clear of toothpaste when you’re not looking (somebody actually does those things)

And above all, enjoy life. Pursue a career that you know will be fun as well as rewarding and challenging. Stay connected with good friends from high school and make new friends. Participate in life, in your community, volunteer and remember Baz Luhrman’s great advice – wear sunscreen.
Love you!!!

-Teck's Mom

How does a picnic get so complicated?

Journal Entry

I have been looking around “blogger” quite a bit lately, just checking out other blogs. And it seems a lot of my fellow bloggers use their blogs simply as an open journal. Now being a very open person I could see doing something like this but I prefer the insightful thoughts more than the simple diary form. However, despite it being summer I am very busy this coming week so I’m not too sure I’ll have much time to be insightful. Therefore, I have decided to take a single step into the Journal Entry section of this whole blogging thing:

Today is Sunday, July 2, 2006. I spent most of the day at work with nothing major happening. The most excitement I got out of a customer was when a lady came in because she had gotten pieces for three separate sets of futons in a single futon box. WOW! Amazing, exciting stuff I know. Luckily my girlfriend, Marie, inadvertently visited and gave me an escape from the dullness that is Wal-Mart on a Sunday afternoon. We hung out in my boiling car and watched The Usual Suspects on my laptop which was pretty decent.
After work I spent most of the night changing the site around, I was sick of the old look. It was actually kind of fun; I haven’t really done anything past the basics on computers in a while so it was cool to get back into that for a bit.
’PROV! starts tomorrow. I am very excited for it. ‘PROV! (the reason for my busyness next week) is a very sarcastic film about a small school’s underdog story in an improvisation championship. A couple of my friends received a grant for the movie so our budget is $6000; so that, plus our great group of actors, should afford us a great lookin’ flick.

So, that’s my first attempt at a Journal Entry. I didn’t delve too deep into my soul, I think I’ll save that for next time. Until that time comes though: give everyone who left their number in your yearbook a call, they want you to. And if you have time in between that: give me a call, my girlfriend leaves on Wednesday so I’ll have quite a bit of free time on my hands. Let’s hang out sometime soon!

-Teck

Far from Independence on the 4^th of July

P.S. ...Only three of you contacted me about the blog... Smaller fan base than I had hoped, oh well. I'll keep it goin' for the threesome