Let's Talk Teck

Good News for People Who Love Good News

2007-01-10T11:37:00.001-08:00

Hey Ya!

I have great news for those of you who have commitments on Thursdays from 9:00-10:20! Although it would be great to have live listeners so that I know I have an audience at the time, whether your commitment be work, school, sleep, or otherwise, you will be able to catch my shows a few days after they actually air at a place I have not quite figured out yet. It may be a podcast of some sort or, because of music copyright reasons, I may have to personally send it to anyone who requests it.
But, whatever method I have to use, if you want to hear the show, you will!

Remember to check up on me!
CKXU @ 9:00AM – 10:20AM
I hope you’ll hear me there!

-Teck

The Move To CKXU

2007-01-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

The semester of writing has finally come to a close! And in it's place, a semester of Drama! This semester will not only be filled with Drama, however; I have also begun my training at the campus' local radio station CKXU. On my show I plan to discuss the types of things I do here, as well as some music supporting the theme and some that doesn't. The show will be on Thursdays @ 9:00 am - 10:20 am and you can hear it on CKXU 88.3 and on www.ckxu.com by clicking the little green and white "listen!" button on the home page. I hope that you can tune in and if you are unable to (as much of a shame as that would be) I will keep the talking as updated here as I can.

-Teck

Can They Answer My Questions?

2006-11-26T22:00:00.000-08:00

At last…
Essays on Philosophy¹ and “Got Milk?” ads have, up until recently, consumed my words; thus, I have had little time to spend in the writing world. Instead, my creativity has been sneaking out in tiny ways like, the titles of my boring essays (ex. “Got Sex appeal?” (I said tiny.)), blurbs to people on MySpace² and rapidly written accounts of some very odd dreams I’ve been having. But mostly, my creativity has been getting out in e-mails to my friends (as well as their titles (ex. “Books are for people who can’t watch”, “On my trip to Africa I contracted AIDS and I got a wicked headache” and, “Have you ever wondered if John Kerry is actually a horse (with a lot of make-up) trying to be President of the USA?”).
Luckily, since I haven’t been able to write, there are some other things have been filling the void. At the beginning of the school year, my fellow Pretzel Brother³, Cam, got back into skateboarding. It gives him something to do, saves him gas money and gets him ready for the snowboarding season (AND if he can learn to ollie up and down curbs it will make him look cool!). Well, after seeing him take up skating once more I thought I would give it a shot again. I am quite a bit older then I was when I used to skate and I don’t think I’ll cry near as much when I fall (AND if I can learn to ollie up and down curbs it will make me look cool!).
I used to skate all the time with my buddy Adam. There wasn’t much to do in Coalhurst, so we took it up as a routine. We would skate all morning, go inside to eat lunch and watch how Tony Hawk did his kickflip and then we’d head back out and skate until the streetlights came on (that’s when Adam had to go home). In the end of our career, despite how many times we watched that video, had both landed something like two kickflips each. I moved to Lethbridge and our career was diminished.
Sad story huh? I know. I almost cried thinking about it when I was skateboarding in between deliveries last night. The tears welled up when I took a pizza out to Coalhurst and saw where we used to skate. And those special drops of salty emotion poured out when I looked at the debit receipt for the delivery and realized that the bag only tipped me two cents.
What the hell…I drive all the way out to Coalhurst and you can’t even give me a few extra bucks. And moreover, you feel the need to rub it in my face by giving me two cents! Well allow me to just rub it right in your face, the two 2 cent candies I’m munching on right now are delicious!
I’m bothered by the fact that I, and almost everyone in the service industry for that matter, have come expect tips. Granted, it does make up half of my wage, but me walking away from a house cursing an old lady because she gave me exact change seems to be a little overboard.
Flashes of the first scene from Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs come to mind when I start thinking about the different jobs our society deems “tippable.” A friend and I concluded that there are a few jobs that are able to have a wide array of effort put in. Those being things like serving (obviously), hair chopping (more commonly referred to as hair dressing), and perhaps prostitutes (which could be included in the serving category, but that’s debatable).
I’m gonna come out right now and say, I do not deserve tips for what I do, unless it’s really crappy driving conditions, in which case I deserve a lot of money (dangerous!). Our culture is really weird like that, for some reason we see it appropriate to have a tip function on certain debit machines and not others.
I wonder if it’s like this in other countries… I wonder what a Fijian would say if they came and found out that we tip our pizza delivery technicians (a nice sounding title I like to give myself)… But, more often, I wonder what—get your lightsabers out—an alien race would think if they suddenly landed on our planet…
What would they think if they got here and saw what we’ve been doing to our planet with our cars, factories, etc.? Perhaps they have been screwing their planet up too and that’s why there here. Maybe we’re doing better than they have been! If they ever make it here and tell us this, I’ll give you all a high-five.
What would they think of the activities we take part in? They might be confused by the fact that some of us plan our whole weekends around what bars they are going to hit or how drunk they are going to get (seemingly more in University, I thought we’d matured…).
Would aliens listen to music? Maybe they would find it odd that we (some more often than others) pay to hear people loudly stretching their voices to background twings and twangs, beats and bops. And sometimes (if we happen to be lucky enough in this cold-ass province of ours) we will pay even more money to go and see these "Voice Stretchers", "Twing-Twangers" and "Beat-Boppers"; voice stretch, twing-twang and beat-bop, live.
Perhaps they’d give us a strange look (do aliens have facial expressions?) when they found out we pay to see others play what we call sports (the term has become quite stretched with the addition of curling). We riot when the team we are cheering for loses and we get very excited when they win (sometimes we even take off our clothes in celebration (see Flamesgirls.com)). Some of our sports involve sticks and balls. Some involve boards and wheels. Some involve nothing but people and we pay to see them beat the shit out of each other (UFC) or we (using the term loosely) pay to see people (using the term loosely) pretend to beat the shit out of each other (WWE).
What would they say to our religions? With all the religions in the world, and Christianity ranking in at the highest with 30%, a majority of us are wrong. Maybe they know the answer and we’re so off the marker they’ll laugh at us (Do aliens laugh?).
Spending all our currency on all these odd activities, it might seem strange to the newcomers that we are willing to spend even more to make these activities quicker or convenient (ex. electric scissors, cars, etc.). They might think it odd that we pay a lot of money to get our “food” fast. Especially when they find out what it’s made of (if we keep any secret from them, that should be it). If they were here on November 23, 2006, they would probably find it odd that there are those of us who won’t work to get a job. Instead, they’ll use a rifle to hold up a one of those places that providing us with “food” fast, and in doing so, putting their lives of freedom at risk for what we call “Loonies”.
Now, because of all of the writing I have been doing for University, I’m looking back on these 1729 words and I’m thinking, “How can I conclude this in a way that will sum up my thoughts?” The problem is they aren’t really my thoughts; they’re the aliens’. Who knows what they'll think? Maybe, if we ever run into another race as intelligent as we are, they can help us figure some important things out. I don't know about you, but I hope they show up soon so they can explain to me why Blind Date is still on…

1. At the beginning of the year I was really excited about philosophy. We were learning all of these really cool things about what people thought about the world in approximately 300ADE. And it brought up so many questions about life and death, and life after death. Unfortunately, we have moved on to more recent philosophers, with more recent ideas; thus, it has become much less interesting than it was to start with and I now have to find ways of entertaining myself in the class. This quest is made easier by the fact that my professor's hair looks as if she spent the night previous in a bush. But, what most interests me are my fellow students, one in particular. A good example of his incompetence and its ability to entertain: One day we were talking about Newton and his discovery of gravity. We mentioned how scientists eventually found out, as an object gets further from Earth, the force of gravity decreases. Upon hearing this I look over to our aspiring philosopher and he is lifting his pen further from the Earth trying to feel the difference in gravitational pull…
I don’t even have anything witty to say about that…Moron!

2. I have criticized, and continue to criticize, Nex(opia) at least once a day. And I now find myself consumed (though it seems temporary) by something like it called MySpace. I find it a great place to check out music and communicate with people you’d rather not e-mail, instant message, text message, contact through postage, or participate in that thing people born before the 80’s call “speech,” over the phone or in person. I find the strangest part about these sites to be, the ability to look into others lives. You can see the relationship between them and their friends. You can read about their favourites. You can read about their day, if you’re so inclined. What’s so strange about this? Well, my friend (who I may or may not attempt to contact), what’s strange about this is that I have that inclination and even once found myself reading someone’s response to 25 questions in a chain letter (and if you click the “next blog” button in the top right of this page, nine times out of ten you will find a blog where people talk about their day and even more people who publicly answer chain mail. This is the same kind of strange behavior that keeps EA coming out with expansion packs for the ridiculous computer game “The Sims”. It seems it's just me (judging by how well it sells) who thinks that if your life is so boring that you need to escape to a fake one, you should probably get out there and work on that.) Uck… This is what I’ve resorted to. I’ve gotta spend more time with you!

3. Definition: Unknown
We are sending you all Christmas cards. Get excited!

-Teck

Let's try this one more time with feelin'

Teachers n' Pedophiles

2006-10-25T22:35:00.000-07:00

I am able to write this because my English teacher recently wrote me the following e-mail canceling my class for the day:

Hello, everyone.

I need a day to get this accursed thesis proofread, printed, and expedited: so I'm calling a snow day.
Please complete the readings for both today and Friday as scheduled. I will see you all on Friday.
I'll be in my office for most of today if you have any emergency questions.
Sorry to do this. But it'll put the hizzle in my fashizzle.

See you Friday,

Mr. P, fool!

I love him… His ability to bring relevant lessons to class and keep them interesting with his humour makes University a lot easier than everyone’s been threatening it to be. It amazes me (and excites me, as my major is currently Drama Ed.) how, by being a teacher, you are somehow made funnier.¹ I guess it’s just one of those co(s)mic mysteries and when someone figures it out I’ll find out why a grandma doing the robot is so hilarious.
It seems unfunny teachers somehow got wind of this and have decided to give being funny a shot.

I-T-‘-S means, “it is,” so what you’re really saying is: the dog played with it is ball! Haha!

When a teacher, who is not particularly funny is trying to be funny, their attempt often turns into embarrassment (ex. In grade 8, on Halloween day, my math teacher (who was (and I imagine still is) not particularly funny) dressed up as a denominator. Which was basically an 8 with a line under it strapped onto her head. A hilarious costume, and if she were a teacher who was regularly funny we might have laughed with her. Instead, the laughter was held to the end of the class at which time we walked around mimicking her; yelling “I’m the denominator” and striking a body-builder pose.²
There are also those teachers who are not aware of their hilarity. Maybe there’s a teacher who always leaves his fly open. Or a teacher who lives and breathes Social Studies. But it seems more often, the teacher who fits in this category is the creeper. I’ve sat in many a creeper class. But, lucky for me, I’m not a girl; so I didn’t really have to deal with their advances too much; I just witnessed them.³ Most of the occasions weren’t too bad. Usually it’s just an old teacher who hasn’t been sweet-talked by a teenager in 30 years, so when a teenage flirts with them it’s a very happy day.
I don’t think any of the teachers were actually planning on doing anything. And it’s unfortunate that there are people out there who are into that kinda thing. In fact, there are too many who are into stuff like that. So many that, when searching for “Defrag” a couple of days ago (on a site that is the host to programs and videos) the site offered me a suggestion: “Did you mean: Underage?” This really made me think: If there are this many people who are into “underage” what ever it is,⁴ that it actually assumes I’ve spelt it wrong and is going to help me find it: how many pedophiles are there in the world? And, how many are being kept off the streets and off the kids because of the Internet? If one kid has to take it for the team so that millions can be satisfied, I think that’s just the way it’s gotta be…

1. Have you noticed how everything seems funnier under water too? The middle finger, in our culture, is taken as an insult; however, when you give someone the finger underwater, it’s made funny…I just thought that was weird.

2. I have been working on this piece for a very long time; in between deliveries, in between classes, and in classes. Every once in a while I’ll witness something I want to put in but I can’t really fit it in to what I’m writing about. This is me cheating the fluidity of the piece and talking about one such thing: At about 12 O’clock on Monday, Wednesday and, Friday afternoon there is a water aerobics class that takes place in the pool. There are two teachers for this class: The first one is a nice, blond, soccer mom type who really encourages everyone to do their best. And the second instructor is a very scary lady who yells “PUSH IT!” at least once a minute. If you happen to have some free time here at the University, I highly suggest you come and check it out; you’ll certainly find me there.
Something very few people realize is that this particular aerobics class is free for every University Student. If you’ve got a card, you are hereby invited to get yelled at!

3. A very (inadvertently) hilarious teacher of mine has given me many great stories:

A paper ball gets thrown at the teacher’s head when he is writing on the board
-Hey! Who threw that! Looks at Michelle …Oh Michelle, you’re such a kidder.
-It wasn’t me, it was James.
-James! Go down to the officcccccceeee!

He didn’t stalk the girls, (he wasn’t walking around noticing that there were girls whose hair smelled like strawberries) but his love for flirting with them really boosted certain girls’ average. One day a girl in class went up to our teacher in an attempt to get out of doing her news report at the beginning of class. Hilarity ensues:

-Hey! Those are really nice boots!
-Thanks…They’re shark!
-Listen, I didn’t get around to my news report can I do it some other time?
-Oh yeah, no problem! So ya like my boots eh?

4. We are assuming it’s porn.

-Teck

I'm in Luck!

How much?

2006-10-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

This is the first time in 3 weeks I have even tried to write something (outside of academic essays). It seems every other time I post, it’s me saying, “sorry, I’ve been really busy; I’m sure I’ll be posting a lot more though.” I’m really sick of saying that. I do want to post, I am just too concentrated on school, and things I feel fit in the very small keep to myself category (a category that barely exists).
In fact, the keep to myself category only exists when it comes to “Let’s Talk Teck.” Anyone could come up to me and ask me any question they want (even if it would make me blush) and I, more than likely, will answer it truthfully. Maybe you think I’m crazy for this; I know quite a few people who would join you in that frame of mind. I see no need to hide anything; granted, there are certain things if not hidden might get me in a bit of trouble or might turn some people off of me.¹
If something has thrilled, confused or depressed me, I immediately find someone to talk to. I can’t hold it in or it will slowly eat me alive. I will go over it constantly and my mood, will stick with me until it’s off my mind.
With so many people being amazed at my inability to keep things in it makes me wonder how few people are with me in this state of mind. Is anyone with me? Are the people who were very recently strangers scared by the discussion of my personal life in our first conversation?
I’ve made it a bit of a goal to meet as many cool people as I can because I’m the kind of person who likes to be with friends constantly. And knowing more people just makes my goal that much easier. At times, I like to surprise people who don’t know me with a good ol’ “Hi, I’m Terry!” Unfortunately, there are those who cannot be disturbed in their life of seriousness, to respond nicely². On September 10th I was very drunk – I’m not telling you this to make you think I’m cool (“Whoa he gets drunk!”) but if I don’t tell you, you will be confused why I’m acting the way I am in this story – a few of my friends and I went to the Blarney Stone for my birthday. It’s funny y’know, the more tequila you get in you, the better you can dance. At least that was the case on this particular Sunday. I was dancing up a storm and I noticed that I wasn’t alone; a guy (clearly gay (not just because he was dancing)) happened to be dancing by himself (he was doing the robot, with the foot shuffle. Very advanced stuff.) So I went to join him and he responded by physically pushing me away. How can someone be so rude? How do you know, aside from my dance moves clearly mocking you, that I’m not trying to pick you up? You’re clearly gay and I’m not a bad looking guy; but that’s neither here nor there. My point is, I would appreciate it if some people would take the sticks out of their asses.
In other (more pleasant) cases I run into those who have respect for mankind. They will play along with my joke or participate in a conversation with me. A joke is usually how it starts; so you can only imagine how excited I was when I heard a girl, standing on the corner, say to someone on the phone “Yeah, I’m just standing outside, walking around like a prostitute.” Oh how badly I wanted to make a new friend.

Hey sweetie! How much?

1. I’m writing in between delivering pizzas for Pizza Hut. On my last delivery, I misread the receipt and brought a can of Diet Pepsi instead of a 2-litre. I told the lady who answered the door that I was going to go back to “base” and bring one back for her because she said her kids wanted their Diet Pepsi. What I didn’t realize was how much her kids wanted the pop; upon my re-arrival I came upon a boy at about 5 years of age who, on sight of me, yelled, “It’s here!” He did a little dance and I handed him the Diet Pepsi. I only hope he drank the entire thing before his Mom realized what happened. (If you hear of a kid dying from drinking a 2-litre of pop, let me know. I imagine it’s quite rare, I just would like to know if I was an accessory in something like that…)

2. Even when I don’t approach someone with a “Hi, I’m Terry!” there are those who have a tendency to be, what many people would refer to as, bitches.
The other day, my friend Alix and I were trying to find somewhere to sit in the “pool observation deck” (or so we call it), it being quite full (and us having something private to talk about), we weren’t sure where to sit. Standing, wondering whether or not to take a seat we were rushed to a decision by just such a bitch, “Are you gonna sit there or what!?” The sudden attack really made me wonder what makes a person so inconsiderate. People like that chick, and whoever the hell invented Crazy Frog³ make me freakin’ sick. Don’t be that person.

3. If you are someone who regularly listens to Crazy Frog, or you are friends someone who knows someone that listens to Crazy Frog. I must ask, what the hell is wrong with you? If you need to listen to perfectly fine songs (in most cases) being ruined, I hate to do it, but I ask you to show slightly more self-respect and just listen to Weird Al…⁴

4. Yes, I just used a footnote in a footnote. I take it back, don’t listen to either of them.

-Teck

Love ya Jesse!

For an Audience of One

2006-09-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

You don’t really know why you are in a terrible mood and it’s only getting worse. Most of the time you know what is making you crawl out of your skin but waking up mad isn’t the same. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. It’s not often that you wake up with any clue as to why; it’s been said by old wives that you’ve awoken on the wrong side of the bed. It’s difficult to not believe them. As ridiculous as their story sounds, this morning you woke up on the usually unpopulated side of the bed. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.
If they were right, and the side of the bed you wake up on really does influence your mood, then you’ll have an excuse to punch the girl sitting beside you, gulping water down like she’s on ‘X’. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. And chewing the ice meant to keep her water cold, not that she needs it, the way it’s diminishing, ironically just like the worlds supply. On some level you hope she’ll look over and read what you are writing just so she will realize how insignificant she is to you at the moment. The Writing class’ end is signified by the instructor’s speech impediment: “Have a gerd day!” Fifty minutes of what you expect closely resembles Hell is all you have to sit through; you flee, jamming headphones in your ears as a sort of Do Not Disturb sign¹.
Smiles, at any other time, would be welcome; but today they’ve been taken as mockery. When you’re pissed off, their joy only makes it worse. Everything that, yesterday was a blessing, today is an annoyance and you wonder how you would feel if someone said “That time of the month hey?” Walking to your next class. Running from your last. The familiar vocal vibration of your phone may hold an out when it comes to your frame of mind². The notification of someone trying to come in contact with you was only in your head; had someone said, “I’m on vibrate” just to screw with you? You think that you don’t want to come in contact with anyone but at the same time you’d feel great if you could spread your misery to at least one person. So maybe that’s why you are writing this. What is wrong with you? Have you written this in the hopes of ruining the day for everyone who reads? Well, good job. I hope you’re satisfied.

1. I would love to officially implement headphones as a Do Not Disturb sign. I have at many times used them as so, however, the unspoken agreement is often broken when the individual not wearing the headphones strikes up conversation with the headphone-wearing unwilling participant. If you are not wearing headphones wait for the person who is, to acknowledge you; if they don’t, then they don’t want to talk to you.

2. Odd, considering the fact that you, in that moment, were very content with your discontent.

-Terry Ecklund

Happiness requires action…you’re lazy

The Neverland Plan

2006-09-16T12:53:00.000-07:00

The door to adulthood is no longer at far end of an infinite hallway. It has finally been reached and after years of skepticism, walked through. I didn’t feel the change as much as some hoped to hear when asking, “So, do you feel like an adult.” I have said it many times before; I don’t think I’ll ever grow up. Some live their lives in the dream world; I will live mine in Neverland. My Neverland is slightly different from J.M. Barrie’s, however, in that it contains grow-ups. This will allow me to benefit from the trials and errors of the elders whilst still having all the fun Peter and Wendy had.
At the cost of acting my age every once in a while, I’m able to have all the fun a kid does all the while having the privileges of an adult. For example: I can still laugh my ass off at movies like Billy Madison and CB4 and, at the same time, I don’t have to notify my Mom if the TV says “Parental Discretion Advised”. Granted, I look like I’m twelve so, if I am caught doing something stupid the elders shrug it off as another immature kid. Yes, the plan is irrefutable!
The “Neverland Plan” (Trademark, Terry Ecklund, 2006) can be taken advantage of by anyone, however, the problem many people run into when trying to execute it is that, when choosing what is categorized as immature and mature, certain things are placed in the wrong group; most frequent of which is the Parent/Child relationship. Too many people are afraid of what others might think if the love for their parents is publicly displayed. I don’t particularly advocate the holding of hands while walking through the mall with a parent and their 18-year-old child. Nor should anyone with an age ending in “teen” call their parents “Mommy” and “Daddy”; at a certain point, it’s just strange¹.
On the contrary to popular belief it IS cool to love the ‘rents and even cooler to show it. I am, as many of you have heard, a mama’s boy; and I always will be; so much, in fact, that the last three girlfriends I have had, have all worked at the hospital (where my Mom works). Weird! The sub-conscious scares me sometimes.
Even as an adult, there are times you just need your Mom or Dad to help you through a rough time. The other day working at Wal-Mart I cut myself using an X-Acto knife and immediately after made my way to the emergency room. Walking to my car (so I could drive myself to the hospital) holding my hemorrhaging finger, I called Mom. Unfortunately, I got the answering machine:

“Mom, I cut my finger pretty bad at work so I’m going to the emergency room. I guess I’ll see you there when you get this.”

I waited for hours holding the finger, my doctor would later tell me, needed five stitches. I was amazed to see that the comforting and, at times, healing kiss my Mother had, lives on in something as small as her presence. When my Mom received my message and frantically showed up to the hospital the pain seemed to subside. The pain came right back ten-fold when the freezing for the stitches was put in, I think it was because she left the room so as not to puke.

1. At Wal-Mart I once saw a woman, about 20 years of age, saying: “Mommy, come and look at this blanket!” I wanted to punch her in the face; instead, I called my Manager and told him that after the day’s shift I would no longer be working for him. Yes, Wal-Mart is in the past, I’ll have to find my inspiration elsewhere.

-Teck

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Music play
Do what the music say
You wanna...

Noteworthy: For those of you who miss the good ol’ days of ScruffingTeck, a couple friends of mine are running a site headlining many of their hilarious movies. They have also been generous enough to toss up tons of the old ScruffingTeck favourites. I highly recommend checking them out especially if you are a frequent reader. The link to the Generic Gamers will permanently be up in the “Links” section. Thanks Aaron! Cheers!

Noteworthy (2): We’ve both noticed that I have been slipping a bit when it comes to entries. I’ll keep them coming but I think I’ll need a few days of leeway unless you guys want crap. I have been really busy with school and so I haven’t really been looking for things to write about. If you guys keep reading I’ll keep writing! Peace.

Noteworthy (3): I just said “Peace.” Is that allowed?

Another First Day of the Rest of My Life

2006-09-08T16:17:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to “Little Miss Sunshine” with Alix, Daver, Tayler and Marie. The movie was great but it, unfortunately, did not leave me time to eat (and more importantly, write a blog) so all I ate yesterday was a sandwich made by yours truly. Now, the sandwich was very good, don’t get me wrong, however, that does not change the fact that “sandwich” is a singular noun (learned that in my English class. Aah ha! University is good for something!) My lack of food intake, my abundance of classes in the morning, taken with my short-term memory loss made it absolutely necessary for me to write the word “eat” on my hand as a reminder to feed myself.
My first couple of days attending Post-Secondary schooling or “uni,” as you would so eloquently put it, have been a blast. My writing class hasn’t taught me much yet, although, it does show promise for better papers and, in turn, better grades.
Philosophy, my second class of the day, has already taught me much about Socrates and Plato. It has also made me realize how little I know about everything. A typical discussion in my Philosophy class:

“So everything that has an opposite comes from that opposite?”
“That is what Socrates is saying. If something is smaller, it has come from its opposite: larger. If something is now hungry it has come from full. Therefore things come from their opposites. If this is true, and the opposite for that which is living is dead, then that which is dead comes from the living and that which is living comes from the dead. Therefore, the dead must survive to comeback as the living.”

Whether or not Trudy Govier (the author of Socrates’ Children as well as my Philosophy professor) is implying we’re all zombies is unknown. And is just one of the many questions it brings up (Where do the souls go? The population is growing, does that mean there are zillions of souls just waiting to come to Earth? And, if there are a bunch of souls waiting to come to Earth, how long have they been there? and many more...)

My English class is going quite well and I think I’m going to greatly enjoy this compared to my grade 12 English 30-1 class with Mrs. Layton. It seems that English teachers and Humour aren’t at opposite ends of the world’s spectrum. When Dr. Penny (my English teacher) put a picture of Hadrian’s Wall into a PowerPoint presentation and it automatically resized so all you could see were a few posts and the bottom of the wall.

Dr. Penny sighs

“The picture has automatically resized so all you can see are these posts. However, they are ancient posts. Breath it in.”

Walking around campus is noticeably different than LCI not just in the fact that the campus, as well as the student body, is much larger (by roughly five times when it comes to students.) but also in the things you hear around the school:

“And we have a winner in Sexy Bingo! What’s your name again? “

“Teresa.”

“And what’s in that goodie bag that you just won Teresa?”

“A book on sex and a pocket-size vibrator.”

“Be sure to keep that close, it’s a girl’s best friend!”

I was once hauled into the office for saying the word “shit” in the hallways at LCI and now they are handing vibrators out to students! This is awesome! Ever since elementary school the metaphorical leash has been getting longer and longer. The older you get the more responsibility you are given and expected to have. And now at the University level, it seems the leash has finally been unclipped for us to roam free. We aren’t scolded for not doing our homework, we aren’t given detention for not going to class; if you aren’t doing the work then you won’t get the grade. We’re adults! And unfortunately, adults have to eat.

-Teck

NEVER EVER pour the milk first

Noteworthy: It is my 18th birthday on Sunday and I want all you 18-year-olds (and youngin's with fakes) to come and chill at the Blarney Stone 'roun 8 O'Clock. I will see you then! Sorry about being late with the blog, the stress of University has started.

Knock on Wood

2006-08-31T19:30:00.000-07:00

This relationship has been going on for quite some time. For eight months we’ve been conversing and, although it seems like quite a one-sided discussion, I feel as if our relationship has only gotten stronger. It doesn’t bother me that we sometimes lack that spark and spice we had early on in the relationship because they have been replaced with deeper feelings (not to mention better writing.) Now, I think we both know that there’s a reason I’m saying all of this. Don’t worry; I’m not breaking up with you or anything. It just bothers me that even though we still occasionally have a great time, most of our get-togethers suffer from a lack of variety and thought provoking experiences. So I have taken certain steps that I hope will ensure a great future for the both of us:

I am enrolled in Writing 1000(B if you care) at the University of Lethbridge. This should ensure that I won't have to right click words like “I” and “although”, to select “synonyms” and find a word to impress you, because this course will provide me the know-how to impress you using simple tricks.
ex. :D

I am joining the Theatre Arts Society (a club at the UofL), in which I hope to be the representative for the first-years (ever since Harry Potter, “first-years” has never sounded the same.) This will (hopefully) get my foot in the door to many new and exciting Drama (which is my major) experiences. I also hear from my good “Stella-Loving” friend Adam Beauchesne that I “will meet some great new people and have an awesome time!”¹

The third reason it won’t pain you to revisit is after two years of saying “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be around here much longer” and not doing anything about it I’ve decided that Wal-Mart, and its constant monotony, must be left behind. I have experienced many interesting events at that place, many of which I have written about, but I think I’ve sucked the place dry of ideas and a new, higher paying, workplace is in order.

The fourth and final boost to the site could in essence be bottled into one with the first and second reason. School begins on September 6^th and with it begins my adult life (this sentence alone could have its own blog.) I’ll be meeting new people, starting a new routine and, most importantly, I’ll be forced into society, a place loaded with stories just waiting to be posted on the internet.

All in all I would say I’m very excited to start University, not just so I can meet people and not just so that my path to becoming a drama teacher will be furthered but also because people will stop saying “So, going to Uni this fall?” If by “uni” you mean “university” then, yes, I am… Now stop calling it “uni” you’re going into Post-Secondary for Beelzebub’s sake!

-Teck

I wonder if University Hall is going to be one giant Mormon Hallway...

1. He didn’t actually say this, I just couldn’t think of anything original to say so I thought I would make it look like he said it in hopes of not contributing to the over use of the words “great”, “awesome" and “people” on this website. But, I guess after all this I’ve said it once more than I would have.

I Look Like Me!

2006-08-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

I spent my early years (until grade 6) in Coalhurst, a great small town, hanging out with buds whom I continue to stay fairly close with. I clocked in the most time with a guy named Adam (some know him as: Binto, The Italian Stallion or The Big Cheese.) Growing up about seven minutes away from modern culture, the person with the most access to media reigned supreme when it came to slang and knowledge about sex. With Adam’s American satellite and my being one of the first people to get dial-up in Coalhurst, we had the advantage in any confrontation that involved smack-talk or “Battling”.

“Yeah! Whatever Andrew! Why don’t you just go jerk-off somewhere!?”
“Yeah! And play with yourself while you’re at it you loser!”
“…Terry, jerking off and playing with yourself are the same thing…”

Yes, we were the kings of the playground but my thirst for power didn’t end there. I was cool, but I wasn’t cool enough. Sure, I watched South-Park and had a Pokèmon card lifting op, but the poster of Hanson on my wall and the fact that I cried every time I lost in four-square were bringing me down. I was going to have to give some things up if I was to be cool in the minds of the older kids as well.
It was a seemingly difficult task until one day, when riding my bike past the outdoor roller-rink, a tennis-ball landed in front of me. I quickly jumped off of my bike and tossed the ball to the older guys playing hockey.

“Thanks Dude!”

There it was, the one thing I desired, I was finally accepted by the older kids. Granted, because we were so far behind in slang it wouldn’t be until the next day’s Mighty Morphin Power Rangers episode that I would realize he was recognizing me as a comrade and not as a man who dresses flashily (although, either would suffice.) This guy was going to be my key to the cooler older kids. He would tell all of his friends how I threw him the ball and they would hoist me on their shoulders and chant “Dude! Dude! Dude!” (as they would not yet know my name.)
The move to Lethbridge was the next thing on my plate and with my recent assimilation into the cool culture of Coalhurst I felt more than prepared.
It wasn’t until my first few steps into Hamilton Junior High that I realized I would have to start all over again. The kids here must all have American satellite and the Internet! I thought.

“Hey Derek! You Scrub!”

What does that mean! I wouldn’t dare ask, what I would do is watch them. I would need Quiksilver shirts, Bootlegger jeans and a prayer that the hockey guy told someone about me.

It turns out that the hockey guy hadn’t said a word but it didn’t stop me from crawling up the social ladder. Six years after my introduction to the Lethbian culture I now have more friends than I could ever ask for. I’m a success Mom! Or am I?
A couple of weeks ago on my way to work I looked in the mirror and found that I looked like me, I had forgotten to do my hair. I quickly realized that if I hadn’t done my hair I hadn’t shaved, brushed my teeth or put on deodorant. What was I going to do? I was going to stink and look like an idiot for the entire day. The panic subsided shortly after walking into the bluish hell, it was then I noticed what I had been doing for so long, what had gotten me all of my friends. Conformity. The epiphany completely changed my outlook on things and putting on the blue vest labeled me as a slave to the man. I was doomed to go out on the floor and answer the questions asked of me by people who’s compliance made me sick. All I was able to think about for the next eight hours was inventing a time machine¹ so the day would go by faster and how I could stop conforming.
My weeklong visit to Nelson, B.C. only fueled my urge to defy the norm. The “Hippies” with their hair in dreads, ripped shirts and feathers in their hair helped me realize how many others have seen the light and joined the non-conformist culture.
Fact: The non-conformist culture has been brought to arms by three musical acts: 2 Live Crew, DMX and Hoof and Mouth Disease Nineteen-Tweleve.

2 Live Crew began the movement in 1985 with their single “Revelation”, however, they didn’t really take off until the release of their album “As Nasty As They Wanna Be” which contained such face-smashing hits as: “Me So Horny”, “The Fuck Shop” and “Get the Fuck out of My House.”
Not only was their distaste for the cultural norm put forth with the use of a slang term being used in the title of their CD they also went after the American government (who was banning their music) by putting out the song “Banned in the U.S.A." Some believe NWA to be the originators of counter-conformity however it was a full year after 2 Live Crew that NWA came “Straight Outta Compton”² proving that NWA was simply trying to cash in on this natural phenomenon.

The next artist to truly ride the metaphorical norm-hating wave was Earl Simmons who hit the scene in 1991with an album titled “DMX: Unleashed and Unreleased”³ His main F-U to the world is put forth in his constant barking that is taken seriously by all who respect “Dark Man X”.

The final group with the most distaste for culture began in January 2006 and performed for their first time at a School Yard Rocks event in the Lethbridge Collegiate Institute⁴. Their name, Hoof and Mouth Disease Nineteen-Tweleve, was brought about by the highly contagious viral disease of cattle and pigs. Wayne Young (the least attractive one of the group) represented the hoof (a very ugly part of cows and an equally unattractive word) and Shawni Shinbashi (easily the most beautiful of the two) represented the mouth (a very beautiful part of the human body as well as a symbol of love.) The words “Hoof” and “Mouth” show the diversity that exists in the world not to mention the bands loathing of American culture. The year Nineteen-Tweleve⁵ is a reference to the year Young’s oldest known relative fled China because of his distaste for the decision to establish China as a republic on January 1st.
The group has so much contempt for everything popular and liked that upon their quick rise to fame in the Lethbridge area they made the decision to go their separate ways in a final F-U to all their fans⁶.

1. What we never really think about when conjuring up a plan to invent a time-machine so that work at Wal-Mart will go faster is that: If we actually invented a time-machine, we would be so rich, that we wouldn’t have to work at all.

2. Notice the gratuitous use of the slang term “Outta”, an obvious rip off of 2 Live Crew’s “Wanna”.

3. The alliteration soon thereafter became a symbol of the non-conformist group.

4. During this event Wayne Young reportedly threw his microphone at an audience member wearing a Beatles shirt and shouted “The Beatles fuckin' suck now take that shirt off and burn it or we stop playing!” The audience member is said to have taken said shirt off and started it on fire with the candle at his table.

5. Spelt incorrectly to once again illustrate the group’s hatred for everything “normal.”

6. Although this was their last statement to the world Wayne Young, a English speaking male of Chinese origin, has chosen to move to a French-speaking Canadian province (Quebec) in a final attempt to one up his counter-conformist ex-band mate.

-Teck

Gays and Lesbians are the ultimate anti-conformists

I Know...

2006-08-24T14:59:00.000-07:00

I'm quite busy this day. There are matters I must attend to and as such the post will be tomorrow. I am sorry to those of you who look forward to it and I know it has been two weeks but I will make it up to you on Friday. I love you!

-Teck

Yeah, but he was all covered in dirt...

Cam n' D-Unit

My Brother IS Spider-Man

Culture Shock

2006-08-10T17:03:00.000-07:00

The culture shock I experienced in Europe in April of 2006 had worn off by the time I began writing again. But, last Friday, when a few of the many relatives I have in the UK came to Lethbridge they had brought that familiar feeling with them. The strange feeling of driving on the wrong side of the road, the new coins and bills to fumble with at the till and knowing that you’re going to end up saying “I had no idea” at least once a day. In the few hours I spent with my cousins I didn’t know existed, I probably repeated the phrase “I had no idea” at least twenty times. We took them to Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, a movie I’m sure almost all of you have heard of if not seen, and it turns out they hadn’t even heard of Will Ferrell. In the discussions that went on before and after the movie I discovered many more things about the UK: They are far ahead of us in the “Now” CD collection which is currently at number 64 (This is very shocking to me since I believe we are on something like 20.) They see a new Now CD about every three months where as we get them about once a year we should be calling the CDs “Then.” There has been a group labeled as Chavs springing up since 2004, basically they’re a group who wear knock-off designer clothing and flashy “bling” such as hoop earrings or necklaces with their initials on them. They also, according to my cousin Stacey, seem to be in the works of making a new language using slang terms for every day words like “mush” for a male. Sounds kind of like A Clockwork Orange. I also found out that the reason for their visit is mainly to scope out a place to live. Prices in Britain have risen to an amazing high and one bedroom flats are in the $300, 000 range. You had no idea. Very few people can afford to go to post-secondary education and out of the ones who do; many drop-out early because they can’t finish paying for it. All of them, aside from my 15-year-old cousin Jodie (she doesn’t want to leave her friends (neither would I) and she would only have one year of school left if she stayed), are very excited to come and we’re very excited to have them, right Canada!? Right!
It was very cool to be on the other side of the culture shock for a change. And it just adds to the desire I have to visit even more of the world especially Britain. The only culture shock I get here is every once in a while when I stumble upon a Nexopian. I swear I’ll kill the next person who asks “Got Nex?” No, I don’t have Nex(opia), I don’t need to spend my days talking about what my likes and dislikes are, how old I am or if I’m “single and looking.” Now if you’ll excuse me I have to finish filling out my “Hates” section at the only normal site on the internet.
Got Vampire Freaks?

-Teck

I'm Wayne Young on a Jet Plane...

P.S. I'm gonna be hittin' up Nelson, B.C. next week from Monday to Monday and as such I will not be able to post anything on the 17th. This is good for me because as much as I love writing, posting every Thursday can sometimes seem like a chore. So hopefully this will give me some time to think about what I want to say and how to say it. Until then I give you this to think about.

What’s My Age Again?

2006-08-03T15:42:00.000-07:00

Excuse him; he’s just unsure about something over in the next aisle. If Debbie could simply follow him to where the problem is occurring and explain everything, it will be greatly appreciated. Debbie tags along until they reach their final destination, about 15 feet from where she was so rudely interrupted. The customer then asks Debbie a question she has been answering all day: A question that could have been answered 15 feet away: “Do you have any more of these?”
The answer Debbie has and will always give in a situation like this is “If there aren’t any on the shelf then we’re sold out, sorry.” She holds in something she has wished to say for a very long time ("If I had more they would be on the shelf and if you weren’t such an idiot it wouldn’t pain me to add that last word!”) and waits for the “Okay, thanks anyways” of a shattered soul as it departs. But something is different, this guy isn’t leaving, he really wants this desk and if he doesn’t get it he will cause a scene Debbie has never witnessed. “I’m very sorry” Debbie says “but I don’t have any more desks to give out, you’ll have to come back later.” The man eyes fill with tears and he falls to the floor kicking and screaming, “I want the desk! Give me the desk! I hate you!”
“Get up!” Debbie yells. The man frantically explains to Debbie between sobs that she is not his Mom and she can’t tell him what to do. “How old are you?” Debbie asks. The man flashes all ten fingers three times and then holds up two fingers on his right hand. “Then act like it!” Debbie scolds.

Debbie agrees with me that age shouldn’t define maturity; unfortunately, intellectual development cannot be measured at the door of a bar or a movie. As it stands, some people with the intelligence of a rock are allowed to drink massive amounts of alcohol and purchase weapons because they were born 18 or more years ago. They can go and see “R” rated movies and are assumed to be bright enough to understand the consequences of buying that pack of cigarettes. It is a shame in many cases that so many idiots are given this kind of freedom simply for defying the odds and staying alive for 18 years. As it stands, however, the law states that once you have reached the age of majority (18 or 21) you are considered an adult and are afforded such privileges.

A few days ago I was asked if I consider myself a boy or a man. I believe myself to be a young man, but if forced to choose between the two, I would have to say a boy; I’ll be a boy until I’m 35. At which time I will most likely be told to grow-up by a girlfriend or a psychiatrist, whomever I’m seeing at the time; forced through the door I always thought was labeled with a synonym for boring. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I will poke my head through the door labeled “adulthood” in exactly a month and one week to see a group that I won’t mind spending the rest of my life in.
I’ll admit after spending so long in different variations of the group “child” with a “male” side-group I have been a little bit worried about being exposed to a different environment since I first got moved from the kids table. Being exposed to the “female” side-group more and more over the years just fuels my anxiety. I think many of us would be shocked if they saw how the opposite sex acted when others aren’t around. Okay, so they might not be shocked but I’m sure there would be a few reinforced stereotypes. I witnessed a poor two-year-old girl’s violent shove into the male culture first hand in a men’s bathroom.

A father had brought his daughter into the washroom so she could do her business. The business, it seemed, had been attended to by the time I entered and I could see her cute little white shoes were closer to the stall door than her fathers. I admired the little pink ribbon on the child’s shoes patiently waiting for the bigger brown shoes to finish their business. Both parties accomplished what they had planned to, and as if to ice the cake the father let out a thunderous fart. It was an emission that, if followed by anything other than the father’s angel shouting “Yuck!” wouldn’t be as sweet. The only thing that could possibly add to it was the dad’s very confused “What?!”
Most of the time we don’t realize what we’ve done wrong when someone from a different group gives us heck for it. But when I reluctantly step through the door labeled “adulthood” on September 10th maybe I can find out why they’ve been telling me to act my age for so long.

-Teck

I never get in trouble for acting older…

FW: Pleeeeeaseeeeeeeee Quit It!

2006-07-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

Recently, I received a message in my inbox that was meant to touch my heart. A message intended to spawn sympathy from millions as it floods the inboxes of the gullible and, more importantly, intelligent. I believe myself to be included in the latter category as, when I am delivered a message saying that my E-mail account is going to be shutdown if I don’t forward this message, I don’t put forth the effort to send it. Hotmail will never make you pay for your account because: 1. Hotmail is owned by Microsoft, I don't know if you have heard of that company before but it just so happens to rake in quite a bit of cash. 2. MSN makes all of its money on advertisements, if they started charging for accounts they would have less people signing up and less people would want to advertise with them. 3. It is impossible to track how many times E-Mail gets sent from person to person.)
I am also often told that if I don’t forward this to 8 or more people I’m going to be lonely for the rest of my life. I’m here to tell you that you aren't going to be cursed with a bad love life, trust me, I quit forwarding these E-mails a very long time ago and I’m currently dating a beautiful girl and yes, she has consented to this relationship. If you honestly think that forwarding E-mail is going to get your thing wet, you are very sadly mistaken. That crush of yours will tell you exactly that, so instead of sending me a letter in hopes of gettin’ some, get out there and WORK IT!
The third type of chain-mail, the type that brings this rant to “Let’s Talk Teck” is the seemingly more frequent poor child cry:

“Dear: All,” in hopes of once and for all breaking the chain that inevitably leads to my inbox I am releasing a public announcement to those who still do not realize how much of a joke chain-mail is.
A great sign of scum in your inbox can be seen before opening the message as the subject will almost always read: “FW: THIS IS NOT A JOKE”, “FW: PLEASE READ” or the even more intriguing “FW: Pleeeeeaseeeeeeeee do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” as the Natalie E-mail. The people (for lack of a better word) sending these E-Mails are just a bunch of morons who think: "Wouldn't it be sweet if we wrote an E-Mail that got sent to thousands of people?" The answer, of course, is NO! It wouldn't be sweet, because I am always one of those thousand people.
If you read carefully…who am I kidding? If you read this at all you can tell it wasn’t written by a woman who desperately wants to save her child. The fact that she put quotation marks around a disease and didn’t take the care to use a spellchecker (“unfortunatly”) shows that she doesn’t care enough to put some effort into it. One of the biggest hints is the motive for keeping the chain going: if you send this E-mail AOL (who doesn’t have their logo on this picture at all, which is very odd considering their major push to sponsor “little Natalie” would be for good Public Relations) “have agreed to give us 5 cents (emphasis) to each person that received this e-mail.” The fact that I’m unsure as to what will happen if I do send this E-mail due to the very confusing message is irrelevant. For unless this E-mail is send to approximately 4 million people, the bill for the average chemotherapy treatment ($200, 000) will not be payable.
Natalie is not suffering from “ ‘Brain Cancer’ “and probably doesn’t even exist. However if she does exist, judging by the picture and the words “new born baby,” she isn’t more than a few months old so they can’t be too attached to her.

“Yours Sincere:”

-Teck

Make A Wish!

Scroll Down!

Keep Scrolling!!

Keep Goin’!!!!!!!

Now quit scrolling, get out there and make that wish come true! 'Cause an E-mail sure as hell isn't gonna do it for you.

Living For The Highlights

2006-07-21T17:33:00.000-07:00

You had quite a week... On Monday you and a group of your friends execute a plan to go camping at Beaver Mines. You haven’t been camping in quite some time, because your family just isn’t up for the hassle anymore. It’s unfortunate but it makes the times you do go that much better. A friend of yours shows you a great spot to set up camp; and so begins what you and your crowd hope will be a great time. Only straying from the “Things to Do When Camping” list a few times (Blowing air and car horns at sleeping members of your camping party, getting fingers stuck in tiki-torches, leaving a couple coolers out so a Bear can drink your beer) you were afforded a great few days. The group decides to go cliff jumping which sets the “fun bar” pretty high. (You enjoy it so much, in fact, that you talk about setting up a trip later in August for yourself and some of the Grads.) Although you have been having plenty of fun you are very glad to leave early Wednesday morning because a few people were driving you fucking insane…if you know what you mean.
Arriving home around 12 O’clock you try to get everything unpacked quickly because that’s all that stands between you and a hang-out session with your girlfriend. She just happens to call, “Hi”, she sounds sick.
”How’re you?”
Yup, she’s sick.
”That sucks, I was going to ask if you wanted to hang out but I guess that won’t be happening”
She can’t go to Our Lady Peace tonight, do you want to go in her place?
”Uhm, sure I’ll go”
She’ll see you when she sees you.
”Bye”
You go to the OLP show with low expectations because the band has been on a downward spiral since their album Clumsy. Stabilo is opening though; it should be a pretty good show. In the crowd you see a few friends you haven’t seen in a while. It’s okay with Alix if you stand with them for the show, so you do.

-Rock Out-

The show ends leaving you surprised at how much what you just saw exceeded your expectations. You also have a pretty good feeling about the Stephen Harper joke you cracked. But there is no time to stay awake and think about the show. Hopefully the ringing in your ears will subside enough for you to be able to sleep. Warped Tour Tomorrow!

-Sleep-

You wake up to the familiar “Mmmm I’m on vibrate” ring of your cell phone. It’s Justin, “Hi”, he’s wide awake and you haven’t felt this tired since grade school, the bastard...

”Kevin said we were going to leave around 7:30.”
He thought everyone was leaving at 7 (the time you were planning on waking up.)
”No, we’re leaving at 7:30. I’m going back to sleep now.”

-Sleep-

One again your cell phone brings you out of a fantastic(ally odd) dream. After looking at the clock you realize the phone has good reason to be waking you: it’s 7:39.
”Give me 15 minutes”
You’re allowed 10.
”OK Bye”
After a very quick shower you return the call.
”I’m ready.”
They’ll see you in a bit.

They see you, and you’re on your way with Justin as your passenger. Listening to Eddie Murphy’s Delirious makes the ride go faster than usual, comedy always does. You pull into the Race City Speedway parking lot and are witness to a great congregation of cars and their owners. It’s going to be hell to get out of here, but first…sweet, sweet purgatory.
The day long musical orgy flashes by faster than the drive despite it being 4 times as long. You try to collect your thoughts and make a highlight reel but with everything that went on (meeting bands like Moneen, catching the set list Justin Pierre (Motion City Soundtrack) threw, holding up George Pettit from Alexisonfire as well as meeting Wade MacNeil and Chris Steele, touching Geoff Rickly (Thursday) and Spencer Chamberlain (Underoath), throwing the horns for Davey Havok (AFI) after crowd surfing and having him acknowledge them) the highlight reel ends up encompassing the entire day.

You arrive home Friday afternoon after spending the night at your Aunt and Uncle’s house. She’s still not a hundred percent and your close friends are either working or still up in Calgary waiting for the Story of the Year concert. There’s nothing to do and it seems this will be the crash period of your week-long high. You realize that, unlike the concert, your whole life can’t be a highlight reel, so you will have to live your life for the days that can.

-Teck

You’re sick of missing her, she’s just sick

I Need Some Stories

2006-07-13T14:28:00.000-07:00

I love to write, especially for you. But, I’m the same way with writing as I am with art. I’ll only show it off if I really like it. Which is why right now I’m dying trying to figure out how to portray my thoughts in a way that may provoke some of your own. It seems I have been sitting here for two weeks trying to conjure up something that will hit all the right taste buds, while the entire world around me bounces from hectic to utter boredom. Unfortunately, for you (I’m guessing) and me I can’t think of a way to write what I want to say. Usually I’ll come into a post with a story and the story will have a moral to it, just like any good Berenstain Bears book. The problem is I haven’t really been getting out into the world that gives me the material for the though-provoking stories I talk about. I’ve mostly just been sitting at home for the majority of the day and waiting for my friends to get home from work. The most action, in the story sense, I have been seeing has been at Wal-Mart; which, I guess will have to do if I’m to quench my thirst for writing this week. Quite a while ago I had what some might call a date (we sat at the same table to eat), in the Wal-Mart lunchroom:

I sat down to eat my Lasagna Alfredo after cooking it in the microwave for the suggested time on the box. Shortly after I sat down I was joined by a girl who I would simply describe as “new” (seeing as how I had never seen her before, I would consider this description to be accurate.) We both elegantly devoured our TV dinners without saying a word and, as I had shopping to do, I had to cut our lovely engagement short. “This was nice, we should do it again sometime” I said as I threw away my cardboard plate and plastic fork.

Soon after our date she had people in her department scouting me out so they could get a look at my name tag. She found it out quite quickly, not as quickly as she would have had she just asked me, but quickly nonetheless. I was and continue to be reminded that she knows my name every single time I pass the shoe department (no matter how briefly) by her shout of my name accompanied by a “Hi!” This aided me in correctly making the assumption that she is “into” me. My assumption was violently pushed away from any doubt I had when her friend ran up to me and asked a question that, for all those girls out there, will not be answered in the way you wish it to be. “Hey Terry, will you go out with Lori (the girl I went on the date with.)” To which I replied, “Sorry, I have a girlfriend.” Which I did and still do, but I digress, the point is: stuff like that doesn’t work and people need to realize it. Lori figured it out and has also figured out that I am not interested, however, a short time ago she passed the number of a girl from Jewelry onto me. Now, this hasn’t been written to make me look like a Wal-Mart chick magnet or anything, I’ve been working there for nearly two years and this just so happened to all take place in a month. In actuality this was written so you could have something to read and to give me motivation to get out of my house. A big pet peeve of mine is not taking advantage of the time you have. It seems I have become my own vexation.

-Teck

Summertime and the livin’ is easy

Guest Entry: Mom

2006-07-05T14:20:00.000-07:00

'PROV! has been keeping me pretty busy (it's going great, by the way, and we'll eventually be showing it at the Movie Mill) and when my Mom heard that I might not be able to put anything up this week she decided to give blogging a shot. She was a reporter at the Lethbridge Herald for many years and won the "Excellence in Education Reporting" award in Alberta four times. So I would say she is qualified to publish some work here. Without further adue, my Mom:

I’ve been a big fan of Terry’s blog since it began – I guess I have to be since I’m his mom. Regardless of the family connection, I’ve thought that Terry’s messages often have a lot of insight and show a lot of maturity – I would apply the same statement to many of the comments from his friends.

Amy, you deserve huge respect for your response to what Terry wrote. I was also really impressed with Jeff Arnold when he took responsibility and talked about the lessons he had learned following a food fight at the school cafeteria.

But what I wanted to write about more than anything else is this whole graduation thing. If all of you Grade 12 grads think it’s strange to be finished with high school and looking forward to all the incredible possibilities – I hope you’ll take a minute to think of it from the perspective of your parents.

I keep saying that I’m not old enough to have a son on the brink of turning 18 and entering university. I feel like it was just five minutes ago that he was born, blinking up at me through those gorgeous blue eyes as if to say “so you’re the one I’ve been kicking the crap out of for the last few months”.

I find myself re-thinking all the rules:

1. It’s a school night; you need to be home by 10 p.m.
2. Your homework has to be done before you go out with friends.
3. Friends have to go home before 11 p.m.
4. Don’t swear

We actually never had that many rules in our home because Terry never gave us a lot of grief. But I still find myself thinking about how to handle all the challenges to come. It’s a big world out there and the desire we have as parents to keep you safe and protected doesn’t just end because you’ve finished high school and will soon or have already crossed the threshold into adulthood.

So I guess (if Terry chooses to post this message) what I’m trying to ask is that you all cut your parents a bit of slack in the coming months… we’re also adjusting to this new reality.

My daughter (she’s 10) asked me when I’m going to “kick Terry out” (she wants his room) and I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around the day he moves out of our home. It was just he and I for so many years that I’m pretty sure the day he does move away from home will be an emotional day for me.

Still, our job as parents is to give our kids the skills, the tools they need to make it in the world so I acknowledge that one day I will help him pack his bags and I’ll cull my kitchen supplies, linens and pantry (just like my mom did for me) to help him get a good start in his new life.

But, he’s still here so I guess I can take another shot at some of the advice I’ve been giving him since Grade 7:

* Take me up on the offer to learn to do your own laundry

* Take me up on the offer to learn to cook some basic meals

* Mow the lawn every once in a while because one day you’ll have your own home and it’ll be your responsibility

* Pitch in with the household chores more frequently – when you have your own place, supper won’t miraculously appear on the table, lunch won’t be packed and ready when you leave for university or work, and the sink in the bathroom won’t be wiped clear of toothpaste when you’re not looking (somebody actually does those things)

And above all, enjoy life. Pursue a career that you know will be fun as well as rewarding and challenging. Stay connected with good friends from high school and make new friends. Participate in life, in your community, volunteer and remember Baz Luhrman’s great advice – wear sunscreen.
Love you!!!

-Teck's Mom

How does a picnic get so complicated?

Journal Entry

2006-07-03T00:08:00.000-07:00

I have been looking around “blogger” quite a bit lately, just checking out other blogs. And it seems a lot of my fellow bloggers use their blogs simply as an open journal. Now being a very open person I could see doing something like this but I prefer the insightful thoughts more than the simple diary form. However, despite it being summer I am very busy this coming week so I’m not too sure I’ll have much time to be insightful. Therefore, I have decided to take a single step into the Journal Entry section of this whole blogging thing:

Today is Sunday, July 2, 2006. I spent most of the day at work with nothing major happening. The most excitement I got out of a customer was when a lady came in because she had gotten pieces for three separate sets of futons in a single futon box. WOW! Amazing, exciting stuff I know. Luckily my girlfriend, Marie, inadvertently visited and gave me an escape from the dullness that is Wal-Mart on a Sunday afternoon. We hung out in my boiling car and watched The Usual Suspects on my laptop which was pretty decent.
After work I spent most of the night changing the site around, I was sick of the old look. It was actually kind of fun; I haven’t really done anything past the basics on computers in a while so it was cool to get back into that for a bit.
’PROV! starts tomorrow. I am very excited for it. ‘PROV! (the reason for my busyness next week) is a very sarcastic film about a small school’s underdog story in an improvisation championship. A couple of my friends received a grant for the movie so our budget is $6000; so that, plus our great group of actors, should afford us a great lookin’ flick.

So, that’s my first attempt at a Journal Entry. I didn’t delve too deep into my soul, I think I’ll save that for next time. Until that time comes though: give everyone who left their number in your yearbook a call, they want you to. And if you have time in between that: give me a call, my girlfriend leaves on Wednesday so I’ll have quite a bit of free time on my hands. Let’s hang out sometime soon!

-Teck

Far from Independence on the 4^th of July

P.S. ...Only three of you contacted me about the blog... Smaller fan base than I had hoped, oh well. I'll keep it goin' for the threesome

It's Been... Awkward

2006-06-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been out on a date with a girl?
A girl you knew wasn’t really your kinda girl? Maybe she wasn’t into the same things as you, or maybe she wasn’t into anything (not even conversing.) However, due to unwritten chivalry laws you have to pay for it, so you may as well have some fun with it. Yeah? Me too. Just noticing after a long day of nothing that it is Thursday and consequently, blog-day, I figured I would tell you about a couple of those dates. Story telling never fails. So, here goes:

It’s during Fall Production, or Cinderella for those of you not familiar with the Drama lingo, Kelsey Koegler and I decide we are going on a date (at least I call it that because I’m paying.) We sit down in a booth and after looking through the menu for a bit I say “Oh good, they have Veggie burgers!”

Pause

Have you ever told a story that ended in “I guess you had to be there?” Well then let me spare you the time and just say:

Resume

…I guess you had to be there.

Having a comical personality those stories kill me. They’re a disappointment to myself, and the (hopefully) expectant audience. It’s most likely a giant coincidence that the stories, along with the dates both ended in disappointment. I mean, sure a date with someone you've only talked to a couple of times can easily go sour. But it is very strange when the people whom you’ve known for a very long time, the people you’ve chosen out of the crowd, your friends, have an awkward time with you (or me in this case.) I can have normal conversation with my girlfriend’s parent’s friends and have it not be weird but just yesterday, I was with two of my friends and we had planned to go for a walk to the playground at Nicholas Sheran Park. The entire walk lacked conversation and the same amount of conversation continued when we were swinging at the park. Why can I have a normal conversation with complete strangers but I can’t strike one up with some of my best friends? It can’t be that we’ve run out of things to talk about because soon after we left the park the words were flowing like wine.
Now, usually when I talk about stuff like this (I guess you could call it “deep stuff.”) I’ll have something for you. Maybe an answer to the problem you might share. Or at least a suggestion. Things are different this time, I guess it’s not that big of a deal for me and hey, maybe it’s not a huge problem for you. Either way, I hope it was thought provoking.
If you want some advice, check out Cush (that link will only work if you have iTunes.) He’s a Podcaster that I can really listen to, he’s got a lot of great advice for everyone. I’m sorry if this was a disappointment…think of it as a date.

-Teck

We'll get 'em next week!

P.S. Well, I've been doing this for quite some time now and I'm very greatful that all of you read and continue to read. Thank you so much for spreading the word to your friends and, in some cases, your family. The spreading of the word is actually what this "P.S." is about. I would like to ask anyone who I don't talk to often or perhaps at all, please contact me through E-mail or MSN if you are one of the people who continue to stick with me. (Teck.88@gmail.com) I'd really like to chat with you! Thanks for all the support, we'll see ya next week!

An Example of Immaturity

2006-06-22T18:08:00.000-07:00

A very long time ago a few friends and I thought it would be fun to demolish an older looking bike that was left in the field at school. I don’t remember if we knew it had an owner or not but destroy we did. And the next morning we found ourselves in the Principal’s office, being asked: “Why would you do that?” We walked out of the office with that question on our minds, a sour feeling in our stomachs. The question remains to this day, I don’t ask it of myself much anymore, as I have grown mature enough to see the stupidity.
You’re probably wondering where all of this is coming from as it was only a week ago when I was telling you how much you mean to me and how much I’m going to miss you. Well, my Sister had to fill out her second statement for the police at the age of ten. The first report was because of some creeper following her home (I’m just gonna go on record in my parenthesis here and say that 30 year old guys who’ve “got it” for a 10 year-olds need to be tarred, feathered and left to slowly waste away in a horrible death.) The reason for her second statement was because when she was playing at the park with her friends a group of kids came up and stole the cell phone she was carrying. When she confronted them they said they didn’t have it. Which was the truth, but only because they had shortly before snapped it in half and thrown it into the field. My sister ran to my Aunt and Uncle who were close by who went after them. My family didn’t catch up to them, however, the Police did and the foster parent of the hoodlums agreed to pay for the cell phone.
The 3 thirteen year-old girls, along with a boy of the same age, were able to feel superior to my sister 3 years their junior for about 10 minutes. And in return had to deal with the Police, owe us over $300 and will probably suffer the consequences over the summer, assuming the foster-parents know how to do their jobs. It is very unfortunate that these children are, most likely, from broken homes and that they probably have never really had a chance. I wish that somehow there were something someone could do to prevent kids having to grow up thinking that being rude is the cool thing to do. I feel like a father figure sometimes with my sister and I worry she might get caught up in that group that will, unfortunately, last until the end of High school (don’t worry, their powers start to wear thin as you get older.)
Since I’m pretty sure that the influence I have over people is very little, if at all and even then it is only over people who are within a two-year range of me, I won’t drive this point over and over again. But, if you are looking to have kids in the future I beg you to make them see that making someone feel less significant isn’t an accomplishment. Or who knows you might just be the Father/Mother of the next school bully.

-Teck

Edited: We worked it out!

Looking Back/Thank You

2006-06-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

On my journey to Wal-Mart about an hour ago I was trying to come up with things to write about. I haven’t had much time to think with all the stuff that is going on right now in this last week of school. So I just laid out a list of events that have been taking place:

I just recently got back together with my girlfriend Marie, which is going great if you were asking. She seems shy but she’s just as much of a goofball as I am.
I am currently going through a rap phase, which, aside from thinking, was my main reason for the trip to my workplace. I had to have Dave Chappelle’s Block Party on DVD. I just recently bought the soundtrack to the movie, which led me on to by Phrenology by The Roots (Great CD check it out if you like good (not-corporate/gangster) rap music.)

But of all the things that shot through my head when searching for a topic to write on the one I kept coming back to was school. At first I didn’t really want to write about it because all of my sentiment had seem to be used up in “This Blog is Killing Me” but this is the end of grade school. It is the biggest accomplishment for many of us to date, what deserves to be written about more at a time like this? After twelve years of going to school we have finally come to the end. And I thought: what better a way to finish it off but a look back on what started me off on this journey into the unknown.

First Grade: I had Mrs. Ramage and begged to hear her telling of “Boney Legs” (the classes favourite book) everyday. This is where I learned my months and how to count to one hundred.

Second Grade: I had Mrs. Wayne, a Philipino woman wouldn't stop reminding us how hard a time she had in her homeland and felt it necessary to throw hyperactive kids against desks. She went on and on about how hard life was for people back in the Philippines, which I think is about all I learned. It was quite the opposite from grade 1.

Third Grade: I had Mrs. Tamara, a woman with soft-spokedness that rivals that of our own valedictorian. And whose biggest defence against acting up students was to yell her whisper of “Don’t do that” which was about as effective as the League of Nations (sorry, I wrote a Social essay today and I’m slightly stuck in the mindset.) I learned cursive writing.

Fourth Grade: I had Mr. Lorenz, a bigger fellow who taught most of his lessons using cartoons. Computers were introduced to our school about this time and the word-processors made my cursive writing obsolete, I would never hand-write again.

Fifth Grade: I had Mrs. Graham, a lady who you knew by looking at her, had to be a gym teacher. The woman illegally pushed her religion on us forcing us to say the Lord’s Prayer everyday after O’Canada. ‘Tis a shame I didn’t know what I know now, I could’ve saved myself the breath.

Sixth Grade: I was sad to have Mrs. Zazula because the other sixth grade teacher allowed his students to make model rockets, which they would shoot off at the end of the year. I quickly found out that the rockets were the only advantage to having the other teacher and found home in my wonderful last year of elementary.

Shortly following my graduation from Coalhurst Elementary School my family and I moved to West Lethbridge and I took up grade seven at Hamilton Junior High (HJH.) This was a very hard thing to do because the only person I knew was James Inglis, and he went home every lunch hour. I spent most of the beginning of the year riding my skateboard up and down the sidewalk to the side of the school at lunch. And retreating home to cry in my room after school. After a while though, I found my passion in the Drama room. I let it all hang out and performed the crap out of any part I received. Comedy is a wonderful thing and my ability to make people laugh quickly made me many friends I still have to this day.

After three years at HJH my friends and I moved across the field to the Lethbridge Collegiate Institute (LCI.) I met with many of my best friends in the first class I ever had at LCI: Drama. And in that very same class found the inspiration to follow the path of a Drama teacher. Over the years my classes in Drama taught me to be more outgoing and meet as many people as possible. It brought me the life lesson I will always live by: Don’t care what other people think about. In my time at LCI I have completed many courses, learned many things and met so many fantastic people. Thanks to you guys I’ve come from knowing no one to knowing everyone, mind you it did take me 6 years. Thank-you to everyone who has ever taught me anything, or made me laugh or laughed at me. I will not forget any of you who have changed my life even a miniscule amount. High-School has shown me such a wonderful time and I write this in hopes that after I sign your yearbook tomorrow and the connection is broken you will know how great a time you’ve given me. At the risk of repeating myself: I Thank You.

-Teck

From the bottom of my heart

Think Before You Get Hit By A Chair

2006-06-08T18:40:00.000-07:00

I am currently in the process of finishing off my last Social class ever. Throughout my Social 30 class this semester Mr. Gnandt has walked us through the material and every once in a while poses a question to the crowd of students. After about ten seconds of silence he will move on, answering the question for himself. The trick is that in the ten seconds many people become uncomfortable and will be more likely to shout out an answer they were too nervous to put forth before. This mind game is, at times, very useful in helping me understand the concept better thanks to the occasional intelligent answer. However, more often then not the person speaking, as well as the words coming out of their mouth are highly insignificant and only hinder my learning experience.
The following is a near-accurate version of something that has happened in Social 30:

Mr. Gnandt: So you think that the media gives you the knowledge you have about places outside Canada?

Idiot: No, the media doesn’t control what I know and don’t know about other countries.

…

You are either a complete moron or you travel all over the world catching up on current events in the time that you aren’t feeding me and my peers bullshit in Social class. I will assume the former as, if you were rich enough to do something like constantly fly around the world you would probably have a personal tutor and I wouldn’t have to worry about holding back my constant urges to hit you with a chair every time you open your mouth.
Now, since I’m not the greatest when it comes to Social I don’t answer many questions and I am not tortured as much by a stupid answer (mostly because I couldn’t do much better, unless the answer given, after peeling my head off of my desk, was “I wasn’t paying attention.”) I feel bad for those people who know the answer better than anyone but keep it to themselves. For example: I sit by our Valedictorian, Alix, and wonder what goes through her head when Mr. G throws out a question to his half-conscious audience. Maybe she’s sitting there thinking about whatever the hell she wants, (she is already graduating at the top of our class, putting in hundreds of volunteer hours and getting perfect marks in gym 10, all the while making time for her friends) she deserves it. Or maybe she’s answering the question in her head, and with her being the “soft-spoken valedictorian” she is her answer is rarely heard by anyone but herself. But more likely than not, she is wondering the same thing as the rest of us: How hard do you have to hit someone with a chair before they shut the hell up?

-Teck

She doesn’t need protection

This Blogging is Killing Me

2006-06-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

I have been writing this blog for quite some time now (off and on.) Just for you (Jamie Hynes)! …Well, for you and just a tiny bit for myself, because here I can bitch about whatever I want and you will read it. Now I don’t mean to make you feel bad or anything, I love you! But with all this time spent, my column style writing has improved and, unfortunately, my essay writing is fading away. Recently in Social Studies, or as my wonderful teacher Mr. Gnandt calls it Life 101, I was handed the task of writing an in class essay to shape myself up for the final exam. This didn’t worry me much at all. Since “Let’s Talk Teck” began I’ve been writing more than ever so it should be a simple task! Or so I thought... My predictions were proved wrong as soon as my first few lines hit the digital paper.

” Conflict is inevitable, whether it is in the home between two siblings and a video game, or two countries fighting over the better ideology. Although the response in aggression is quite different (you wouldn’t put missiles in Cuba with your finger on the button saying ‘Just give me the controller and no one gets hurt.’)”
-Excerpt from the essay ‘Don’t Kill Over Spilt Milk’ By Terry Ecklund

SEE! I can’t help but write that way and I can’t wait until it’s the only way I’ll need to write. And since I am now, according to a slip of garnished paper, “eligible for graduation” it seems that time is approaching quickly. Yes! I “graduated” on Saturday and spent the whole week previous at Grad parties, which were quite Saucesome (especially for Cougle.) For some, the week was very hard to get through, what with the drinking and having to get up the next morning for school. However, in my case it was the complete opposite. I have been more tired this past week going to sleep at 11:00 and waking up at 7:10 than I did going to bed intoxicated at 12:30 and waking up at 7:00. Maybe I should just get drunk every night…
But I have to say: I realized during Grad Week that of all the things I’ve been through nearing the end of my High-School career (my last physics exam, my last time performing for LCI or my last Scandal Filled High-School party), in twenty years you will be all I keep in mind.

Thanks for making these years so easy to remember.

-Teck

Parents pass the make-out tent

No, This Isn't A White T-Shirt

2006-05-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

Ahh… The effects of Global Warming are starting to show, and as the only negative effect it will have on me is swass I say: bring it on! With the weatherman showing us highs of 32˚ I have been spending quite a bit of time outside. In my spare I hang-out on the front lawn of my school soaking up the damaging rays while I chat with friends and (try to) do homework. As I was outside and the sun had direct contact with my skin I began to develop a tan. Unfortunately it wasn’t until recently that I realized I was developing what you call a “farmer’s tan.”
This would not do at all, for to achieve the highest level of sexual attractiveness my body would have to give the impression that I was very much alive, not slowly deteriorating from some new colour sucking disease. I realized (on my own) that to rid myself of this awkward look I must remove my shirt so my body would also be allowed exposure to the sunlight. Luckily my top notch bud, Brittany, had the wonderful idea of bringing sunscreen so we wouldn’t be physically harmed by the Sun’s rays. I applied some SPF 30 and lay upon the blanket to let the sun do it’s stuff. I soon thereafter remembered that I have never been able to just lay and tan because of the boredom that ensued so I hopped up and scanned the area for a means of entertainment to pass the time. The clock spun a bit faster as I found what I was looking for in a football and a group of strangers. We tossed the ball around for a while and I found that I was pretty good, despite only ever playing with a ball that would stick to my Velcro glove. Growing tired of the sport in which I was clearly superior. I searched for something a little more challenging. I would talk to girls without my regular attire (shirt), this seemed a good plan at first, unfortunately, I failed to be hit with those seven digits. This tanning thing was taking WAY longer than I had planned… But look! A soccer ball and perhaps some new friends. Macros (my new friend) and I played 2 on 2 with some other guys, needless to say, we beat them and I retired to the school for some math. The sheet I did my work on reminded me of my pigmentless (not a word) skin. I was reminded, once more, of my unappealing body after school. Immediately following my escape from my air-conditioned cage of learning I once again removed my shirt (this time for laughs, as tanning, I found out earlier is a lost cause.) A friend of mine walked with me to my car. On our way we passed many groups of fellow students who replied to my enthusiastic greetings. All except one, she sat, smoking her cigarette, out front of LCI on one of the cold concrete slabs they try to pass off as benches. “A fellow Albino”, I thought as I noticed her white features creeping out from her black shell. “Hello!” I said, my sudden attempt at verbal contact seemed to startle who I hoped to be a new friend and smoke fled, like mist, from her nostrils. Just as I was about to make my escape she spoke a language I was surprised to recognize as English. “Put a shirt on!” For fear that she did not understand the reason I was lacking in the shirt department I replied “But if I did that then I would have this Farmer’s tan forever.” She didn’t care, and if I was to get rid of this odd tan I was to do it at my home, she explained. I was not hot enough to be walking around without a shirt on. That made me wonder: does the fact, she said “not hot enough” mean that I am hot and I have just not reached the level of hotness required to be allowed to talk in public shirtless. OR is she just a bitch? I don’t know, but I will show her! Unfortunately white reflects light so I might need a little more help from you SUV drivers out there. Can you burn a little more fossil fuels I still need to get my front.

-Teck

Break a Leg! ...Of Mystery

Sorry For The Long Wait

2006-05-04T14:54:00.000-07:00

Hey

I know I haven't talked to you in a while. Europe was amazing! I'm also glad to be back though. Being back does have a few down sides though, like the oodles of homework welcoming me home. Not to mention the play I'm co-directing and the small part I have in Cats Cats Cats and my job and the Shed The Mask festival. So those are the reasons I haven't been talking to you. I am planning on throwing up my Euro-Journal up here pretty soon but until then you can entertain yourself with a bunch o' my pictures (Top Right in the Neat Links.)

P.S.
To those of you who came on the Eurotrip with me: A few of you have brought me money for the picture site and I really appreciate it, however, I would appreciate even more if you would bring me CDs with your pictures on it so that I can add even more to the site. Thanks!

-Teck

What's a Genital Cat?

What Are The Rules?

2006-04-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago we had what we call a PD day, a day where the teachers learn and the kids have the day to do what they please. On this fine Thursday a couple of my friends and I decided that we were going to have breakfast here at my house. Of the two friends planning to dine at my house it was the keystone who called and cancelled. What do I mean by keystone? Well, of the two friends (one male, one female) the girl brought the whole breakfast into question. Soon after her call I thought hard about the rest of my day. Should I call Kage (the male) and ask him to join me in some eggs n’ bacon? I didn’t, and midway through cooking my breakfast (alone) Kage gave me a call:
“Hey!”
“Hey Man! What’s crackin’?”
“Not much, how about you?”
“Cookin’ some breakfast…I’m not sure what the rules are with two guys and breakfast…”
“Yeah, me neither.”

I don’t think anyone knows the rules about the stuff like this. Sure there are the major rules like no kissing… But with little things like this sometimes it feels like you’re in a different country. You have the main rules like don’t kill, but then there are those sneaky rules like paying to go to the bathroom. Those are the kind of rules I will have to be watching out for over the next two weeks. That is correct! I leave on Friday April 7, 2006 at 2:00AM and begin my journey through Germany, Switzerland, Italy and France.

Yes, you may miss out on the blog for a couple weeks (however, I may get a chance to update while I’m there) but when I get back I will have oodles of stories to tell you and even more pictures. Maybe the Italian’s will know, I’ll ask one of them over a crepe at breakfast.

-Teck

Can we be Awesome Together?

It will last

2006-03-30T09:02:00.000-08:00

A girl once asked me “Doesn’t it make you sad that this won’t work out?” My original response was “It’s possible, I don’t mean to sound creepy but my Aunt and Uncle are high-school sweethearts." The relationship failed, despite my confidence and my faith in optimism was brought into question. If I were ever worried that something was going to be bad (a day at school, a week that all my friends were out of town, a trip to my Dad’s) my Mom gave me the best advice I’ve ever been given. “Terry, if you go into this thinking it is going to be bad then it will be bad, but if you think you’re going to have a good time then you will.” I was usually in one of those moods where you just don’t want to be happy but I would secretly take her advice and to my delight it would almost always work. Instead of dreading bath-time I would embrace it and when the time came I was having so much fun that I didn’t want to come out. I didn’t care if I actually turned into a raisin. Instead of moping about how bad my day was going be I was out there livin’ it up. Looking at the bright side has helped me live life to its fullest.
If optimism has brought joy to days that seemed to be filled with nothing but tedium then why couldn’t it keep the relationship alive? Well, for starters I’m guessing that relationships require a tad bit more than confident thoughts to keep going. However, if at the beginning you are already thinking about the end chances are it will come sooner than it should. I guess what I’m trying to say is: “Jump.” See if you can fly on your way down rather then worrying about it before hand. Yeah, maybe you will take a nosedive into the asphalt but hey! At least you flew…

-Teck

I don’t want to hang up.

P.S. I never told you this Mom, but you were, and continue to be right. Thanks!

P.P.S. About the whole “jumping” thing: It was completely metaphorical. You’re worth it.

Everything is Automatic

2006-03-25T00:10:00.000-08:00

You communicate using technology everyday, using E-mail, Phones, Instant Messaging or any of the many methods technology affords us. Many people spend hours on the internet chatting with friends, in fact some of us have friendships that wouldn't exist if it weren't for MSN. Some of us will text or instant message instead of phoning or using the plain ol’ method of just talking to them in person. Sometimes you’ll do it because you just don’t want to talk to them. But more often than not, you are texting or instant messaging because it is so much easier to have a conversation like that. You don't have to worry about your body language or how to end the conversation, whenever it gets boring you can just say "gtg cya" (Ugh...MSN slang.) In Junior High (and sometimes in elementary, which is way too young) some of us kept up relationships on MSN or the phone. When it came to the face-to-face relationship we would spend half the movie gaining the courage to hold hands.
Our dependency on technology doesn’t stop with MSN and E-mail though, and you know that. You are very aware of what driving to school or work everyday is doing to the environment, and I’m not interested in telling you that again. What I AM interested in is the hilarious factor of it. The fact that we lack the strength to give up on the conveniences to which we’ve grown so accustomed is what I’m interested in.
I began noticing how lazy we have all become when I started working at Wal-Mart as a cart boy (which I no longer do, visit me in furniture!). While walking around the parking lot, my energy slowly fading away, I would see people four spots away from a “cart corral” leave their cart beside there car. You leave the cart because you know that I have to come and pick it up. That shirt you intended to buy is left in the foods section without a thought as to who will have to put it away. I don’t mean to bother you about that either; we’re being paid to pick up for you so I can’t really complain. But sometimes I realize how my Mom used to feel when it came to my Power Rangers (Sorry Mom!).
After noticing the laziness of some Wal-Mart shoppers I decided to conduct some experiments. My favourite of which took place in between the two sets of doors you go through to get in and out of Wal-Mart. With one set of the out doors being automatic and obviously more convenient they are used the most. Noticing this I decided to use the Wal-Mart shoppers as guinea pigs in a little test. I placed a cart sideways in between the two sets of automatic doors on your way out of Wal-Mart on one end leaving a very small space between the doors and the cart. Instead of moving the single empty cart out of the way people would walk through the first set of doors, around the cart, through the small opening and out the other automatic door. Even people without carts would choose to walk around the cart rather than go out a push door or just getting rid of the cart. I would ask you to do your part and help me in making the world a little less lazy by doing so yourself. But I’m the one who hasn’t updated in 17 days.

-Teck

At one point I wished it were over

So much Drama, So little Drama

2006-03-07T18:09:00.000-08:00

I am a geek and not just in the traditional sense of the word. I do play computer games, I have built my own computer I carry my iBook with me everywhere and I’m the tech guy for my whole family. However, my geekiness doesn’t stop there, I am also a Drama geek. I have been since I first discovered, in grade 7, that there was a class in which I could get marks for being a goof ball. Since then I have performed many times in and out of class. I’m in my seventh drama class (I took it twice in grade 7) and I have been in three school productions (Hansel and Gretel – Troll, Big Screen – Wrestler, Cinderella – Prince Charming). Cam Langhofer and I are directing a piece called The Leg! …of Mystery (Yes, someone put us in control of students) which is playing at the Shed the Mask festival being held at the U of L on the 5th and 6th of May (PLUG!). So, as you can see I’m very involved in the dramatic arts. Which leads me to my confusion: If I have so much Drama in my life, why is there so little Drama in my life?
I know of couples, teenage and adult, that fight all the time, sometimes over the most ridiculous topics such as “Boy’s night out” or “Whether or not to get jam.” Being effected by this indirectly is the closest I get to drama. It makes me wonder. Why don’t I have any drama? Should I have drama? Am I missing out by not having drama? I don’t think so. When I watch some of my friend’s relationships begin on the downward spiral because of the controlling girlfriend or the over-affectionate boyfriend I think of it as such a minuscule thing. If you’ve been told so often that these years are the best years of your life then why are you moping about not being so significant to one another anymore? Maybe it’s because I haven’t really been in a long-term relationship or maybe I’m right for a change and you’re all just wasting your time. If my love life is destined to be full of the make-up/break-up junk you’re going through then you can hand me the Fonz’s guidebook to relationships.

-Teck

I love you…

You got the place all to yourself

2006-02-26T00:46:00.000-08:00

“What the fuck.”

(Quite a few Risky Business references so I suggest you check it out. Oh, and it’s gonna be a little less PG this time, sorry.)

Hey! It’s what Tom Cruise said and look where he stood at the end of the (career launching) movie Risky Business. He got to drive around in his Father’s Porsche, (as much backwards forwards but hell, it’s a Porsche.) got laid, gained a few bucks, lost a few bucks and soaked the Porsche in Lake Michigan. Pretty crazy huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought after I watched it.
So of course when given the opportunity to have the time of my life and maybe even top Joel Goodsen what did I do? Did I throw a giant party (A party that is going to stop you from talking about the Food Fight?)? Did I get so wasted I couldn’t find my own feet? Did I invite a bunch of girls over to have sex totally unprotected while doing intravenous drugs at the same time? Would the story be funny if I did? No (No). No. No. No. There would be none of that. So, if none of that what did I do?
Well, Friday at work I strained my calf muscle while pushing hundreds of carts through inches of snow. I was offered a job in the furniture department, which will ultimately lengthen my stay in hell (Wal-Mart). After work I went to my friends house where I sat and watched a game of Risk go horribly awry, whilst watching a Kung Fu parody and hearing that Matt Good is sold out. I continued home to watch some Arrested Development while I had A beer. And, unfortunately, was able to locate my feet with ease.
Saturday, I didn’t have to work until 4:30 so I had sometime to get over my Friday night drinking binge. I watched the men’s Bronze medal hockey game, y’know, the one the Canadians should’ve completely bypassed. I stumbled upon a TV show hosted by a rapping Arab, which was hilarious. The hilarity was cut short though, as I realized it was time for work (Which once again, to my surprise, wasn’t fun). So now I’m hanging out at home, watching a movie, I’m on my second beer. Still able to find my feet. Oh, you wanna know what I’m watching? Risky Business o’course. Maybe it’ll stir up a few new ideas for my next weekend alone.

-Teck

The dream is always the same.

The Tear-Aways just don't cut it

2006-02-21T21:34:00.000-08:00

For a very long time I have been searching high an low for something very few people have. Walking through the hallways my lack of fashion sense is shoved in my face. Oh! I know how to match when it comes to clothing... Unfortunately, that’s the extent of it. What is different about these people (aside from their style of course)? Is it something that comes naturally and I was unlucky enough to miss out on the talent? Is there a secret store I don’t know about? With a one stop wardrobe-of-style package? Is it that I was so caught up in the norm that I didn’t notice my closet filling with surfer brands?
In grade six you could hear me coming miles away because of the track pants I would wear five days a week (Oh shut-up you wore 'em too!). I didn’t have to worry about what people thought about me. Ahh the days before conformity, when it was fine to only wash when faced with the dilemma of “Bed or Bath”. As we all know, it doesn’t stay that way forever. I was moved from an Elementary school in Coalhurst into grade seven at Hamilton Junior High and soon after realized that my track pants weren’t going to cut it. The change in schools was the beginning of my collection of surf company shirts. Why did I buy them? Couldn't tell ya, I don’t surf…I live in Canada. Gone were the days of originality for me. It's time to do something about it. Hopefully I can find that secret store.
So prepare for a new Teck! I’m gonna come up with a style that’s gonna blow your mind! Then again…what if you make fun of me? Well I can’t have any of that and neither can you. “Conform OK, it’s just easier.”

-Teck

Zaugg reads da Blog!

P.S. Check out the comments section on the previous post where your President gives his final address! It’s a great way to sign-off and I’m glad I was able to host it. Thanks to everyone who’s visiting the site and I hope you keep comin’ back!

Interview with a Suspended President

2006-02-13T19:49:00.000-08:00

In light of the events that ensued on Monday, February 13, 2006 I decided to strike up an interview with you’re President Jeff Arnold. Strap yourselves in for a wild talk including: Life, Chaos and Presidency.

Teck: So, I guess I will start with the question How did this get started?

Jeff: Well basically Drew and I were sitting in the cafeteria on Wednesday and we were thinking about how bland our lives are. We are students in all pure classes who do pretty well, so we decided that we have nothing to lose so we’re going to pull a crazy stunt like a food fight.

Teck: At any point in the conversation did the consequences come into question?

Jeff: Definitely. Basically, every point the consequences came up, we came up with the worst possible consequence was. We then realized that the worst that could possibly happen is to be expelled from Grad. But we decided that it was a risk we were totally willing to take, at that point we were willing to face suspension and we knew it would be inevitable.

Teck: What was the game plan?

Jeff: I was situated at the front by the French girl table, Drew was at our Blue Train table, he lifted his hands to show 30 seconds, I waved 20, he waved 10, and we both counted in our heads, our table yelled food fight, and chaos ensued. We had tons of stuff ready in our arsenal such as pies, cakes, pudding, you name it. And SO many things flew through that air...!

Teck: I, unfortunately, was not a witness to the chaos would you please describe some of the highlights.

Jeff: The highlight would have been cleaning finding the weirdest food thrown, I laughed so hard when I stumbled upon a hot dog, a full apple and someone even threw a battery! Some one also threw chocolate milk directly at the roof, there was food EVERYWHERE. Every single kid in that cafeteria threw SOMETHING.
Another highlight was seeing the teachers who tried to quell the uprising being hit with items. One teacher who tried to wave the crowd to stop was hit in the head with a sandwich, and one poor substitute teacher on her first day of supervision was PELTED with pudding.

Teck: Hahah! I heard a kid say he wailed a full apple at a girl’s chest.

Jeff: Oh man haha! The stories don't even end there! It was a danger zone! I ducked for cover and when I poked my head up, a potato coming at a hundred miles an hour JUST missed my head. It was definitely chaotic to say the least...

Teck: Did you have a target going in or was it just a free for all?

Jeff: We all wanted to hit Dave Ptycia. He was a doubter since we brought it up, and it's people like him who make the world so...boring. Basically, Drew and I believe that life is for living, and as immature as it seems, this was living life. But, I guess, it was mainly a free for all. I know that I threw blindly.

Teck: You were caught (obviously), what were the consequences and what was the process that you had to follow?

Jeff: At first I went with outright denial of having anything to do with it. Then I realized I was just talking in circles, so I straight up confessed. Drew and I were the orchestrators. Anyways, Mr. Groft is a brilliant man, he has a BS detector that is VERY finely tuned, he has obviously dealt with many people before Drew and myself.
I visited with Groft, Drew was sent to Zaugg. Drew said he had a hard time keeping still and straight faced. He, many times burst into laughter in front of Zaugg which pissed him off like crazy. My conference was a bit more serious, seeing as how I was the President at LCI. The admin team was very upset with me.

Teck: I think everyone would like to know if they said anything about revoking your presidency.

Jeff: Definitely. First thing Mr. Groft did was demand a resignation. I of course will comply with anything that is demanded of me, but not before a discussion. Admin was upset that I was using my "leadership skills" in negative ways. I still fail to see anything negative about throwing an apple pie, I'm sorry. But will I continue as President? Chances are very likely no.

Teck: Was it worth it?

Jeff: Absolutely, this will leave a legacy that Drew and I will never forget. It also (ironically) leaves my Presidential legacy. There won’t be an ATM Machine, or dance this year, but there certainly was a massive food fight! Groft and Brack are a very clever administration team and I give props to them for suspending our asses, because quite frankly; we deserve it!

Teck: Finally, who's gonna take over for you?

Jeff: Hopefully someone who threw something.

That concludes the interview with our former president Jeff Arnold. I’ll be back soon with a usual thought provoking piece. I just thought that I would keep you up with current events.

-Teck

I voted Langhofer

Fun is SO Yesterday

2006-02-05T20:58:00.000-08:00

You don’t have a ticket for the Dance yet do ya? I didn’t think so.
Last week my social class had a discussion about the strange twists in “school dance” popularity. It seems that a few years ago LCI held a dance that was shoulder to shoulder with students just lookin' ta party. There were so many people in fact that because of the heat some dancers had to leave the floor so they could catch their breath. "It was like a sauna." Back in the day everyone was into just havin’ a good time. Their class president didn’t have to come on the announcements telling them that if they were unable to sell 100 tickets the dance wasn’t going to happen. They didn’t have to close half the gym to give the illusion that there were more people than there were. What happened to us!? What is the world coming to!? We’ve stumbled upon a time where even Cyndi Lauper is afraid to have fun. Gone are the hippie days of peace and love. The need for social acceptance, it seems, has overtaken our freedom to have a good time.
I noticed what I just hit you in the face with a few years ago (around my introduction to high school drama) and immediately adopted a new philosophy. My own. I decided from then on I would no longer allow my fear of being ridiculed trap me in the “No Fun Zone.” I realized, when an amazing woman by the name of Sharon Peat said “If you’re too cool to do the hokey-pokey then you are just too cool”, I wasn’t being true to myself or the people around me. I was keeping the real Teck sucluded from the words that will never hurt me. (Sticks and stones are quite the opposite.) I was free to do what I wanted to do because I didn’t care anymore! I celebrated and continue to celebrate by doing things most people are shocked by, but we'll get to the celebrations later. Teck's way of life comes very highly recommended from those who have adopted it since the founding. Give it a shot! Come out to the dance on Thursday, February 9th and see what I'm talkin' 'bout. 'Cause being the cool kid in school isn’t going to give you much to talk about.

Put your right hand in…

I’ll think you’re cool.

-Teck

Put your right hand out

Let me know what you think!

Judgment - 8:00-3:00

2006-01-31T21:12:00.000-08:00

You’ve poked fun at the idiosyncrasies of others more than once before. Whether it was at the fact they walk around with checkered shoes or they need extra help in a class. I wish I were as perfect as you. I wish I could be without any flaws, immune to discrimination. However, as it stands I am a skinny geek who has been cut down a fare share. And I can assure you that as great an act you present the checker shoed, green haired skid with the pin-infested jacket is laughing at it. You lack the courage to stray from the norm so you point and giggle at the ones who do. All that makes you a “unique snowflake” are your fingerprints and what you do in your cheerleading outfit in front of the mirror when no one is home. The real you exists only behind your layer of make-up and your Quiksilver wardrobe. Can you imagine what one day at high school would be like if the norm was no longer? If it were “cool” to be overweight and mentally handicapped? Where the “Skids” made fun of you for having the minimum amount of flare (Office Space)? Would you be able to handle it? Or would you gain weight so you could join the fat kids in burning the jocks? Would fear of being discriminated make you go so far as to dye your hair neon in hopes of being accepted by the groups you now whisper insults about?
Does another’s weight affect you in anyway? Hell, they are being forced to buy two seats on a plane just so it is convenient for you. The gays are being allowed to marry! Oh Lord no! Get your torches and pitchforks; let’s go straighten these guys out. At the risk of being didactic, something my Amazing English teacher Mrs. Layton said never to do, I think we should all be weird and accept each other’s oddities. But as it stands, we are trapped in a society where “gay” has become a synonym for stupid and it doesn’t look like it’s going to change any time soon, as you would probably laugh if it did. So get a good rest because tomorrow our Judgment runs from 8:00 to 3:00.

-Teck

Can we be Alone Together?

Are you a Philosopher?

2006-01-25T22:22:00.000-08:00

You are, good, then please “consider the following”:
(Sorry Nye but you’ve been out of the picture since 7^th grade I don’t think coining the term is going to save your career.)

Let’s start at the beginning. About a week into my term in hell, some call it Wal-Mart, I call it hell. (It may seem like it’s just a nice place to shop, having “everyday low prices” and smiling clerks, but it’s not. Although being the largest company in the world (based on revenue) allows them to sell certain items at a loss, the smiles are as manufactured as what you’re buying. You see, there is a little thing Sam Walton likes to call the “Three Metre Rule”. A sign every Wal-Mart employee spots before setting foot on the floor states that whenever within three metres of a customer we must smile. As much as we may loathe the fact that you are purchasing goods from our evil employers we cannot so much as give you a sour glance. Over exaggerating? No, you need to see “Wally World” for what it is. Unfortunately, it has taken me a year and a half to realize that and I will soon escape!) I was asked/told/forced to clean the “Smoke Shack” (A place where zombies, slaves to their cancers (that one's for you James Wade), go to suck ash) which basically consisted of me taking out their coffee filled garbages. This time was different. Amongst the half filled Double-quad-mocha-cappuccino-toffee-mocha-lattes lay a car alternator. An alternator that would lead to a new style that I didn’t much care for: Double-quad-mocha-cappuccino-toffee-mocha-latte covered Dickies. I was unable to go home and change as the people demanded a contraption that carried their goods for them. Needless to say it was a horrible Double-quad-mocha-cappuccino-toffee-mocha-latte-ridden day and it was also the last day I ever cleaned the Cancer Shack. So, naturally, when asked very politely by a colleague of mine to clean it once more I said “I’ll try” (F-You). To which she replied “Do or do not, there is no try.”
Now, is it just me or is she attempting to step a little outside her boundaries as a Wal-Mart employee? I do not believe philosophizing cart boys is in your job description. I think you should be stocking some shelves. Perhaps while you’re on your break, in between sucking on your thought controlling cylinder and talking about how wasted you were last night you can tidy-up your own damn shack.
If you decide to take the path of the theorist, which I do not suggest, you should really come up with your own thought provoking aphorisms. Taking them from fictional characters isn’t working too well for you. Yes, Yoda, the Jedi Master himself said that in a galaxy far, far away before any Wal-Mart employee tried to pass themselves off as a Philosopher.

...I shoulda said that.

-Teck

Alix? Are you there? ...Oh well.

You’ve Ran Out of Sound

2006-01-23T22:04:00.000-08:00

You like music. Yeah, you do. YES! You do. Stop it I know you like music so just give up already. Thank you…Anyways, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me: You like music. No. You love music. You love it so much I would tell you to marry it if you weren’t getting bored of it so quickly. Sure, you’ll listen to the music you’ve got. But every once in a while when your old music isn’t watching you’ll hunt for something new. Something with a certain Je ne ce qui (Correct my French). It’s okay I won’t tell your old music; in fact I’m going to help you with your search. With the tool I am about to share with you your musical taste will expand far outside your circle of friends. No more consulting iTunes or Amazon when you want to find music similar to your old favourites. No! With this tool you will find new favourites. Excited? Shut-up! Yes you are you love it!
The application I have been getting you jacked for is called Pandora. Make sure your old music isn’t looking first. What this cute little app is going to do for you is take the names of your oldies (Artist/Song) and it will spit out a playlist of music it thinks you’ll enjoy. Unlike the services you’re using now Pandora doesn’t take all the people who’ve bought the same music as you and tell you the second most popular CD amongst that group. Instead it takes your favourite artist or song and feeds it through a very strong filter. They have 400 very skilled musicians working on this thing so you know it’s good. What these wonderful people have done is gone through all kinds of music song by song and analyzed it according to voice, pitch, key, guitar, bass, drums, what have you. Thus born is the Music Genome Project.
Oh! You’re there huh? Got it all setup, cool. Yep, that’s all you have to do, toss in an artist or song in there and out pops hours of free music. Oh? Yeah, I’ve gotten a couple of songs I don’t like as well but if you hit that little thumbs down in the “Guide us” menu it’ll fix that problem. And if you really like something there’s a thumbs up button right there too! I’ve been using it for about a week now and I love it. With 400 musicians doing on average a song every half an hour Pandora is adding 7-8 thousand songs a month. You love it don’t cha? Argh! I’m done talking to you!

-Teck

Click dem Google ads!

Da B-Day Rave

2006-01-22T11:37:00.000-08:00

rave

n 1: a dance party that lasts all night and electronically synthesized music is played

And rave we did. 'Til the wee hours of the night we danced to songs such as Candy man, The Space Jam theme and even the song that many of us referred to as "Roxbury". We sang along, swung from ropes and climbed balconies. But why am I telling you all of this? You were there! I pass you everyday in the hallway without so much as a “hello”. Yet when our eyes met it seemed it was the first time in years. We hugged “It’s good to see ya!” I see you everyday. “Remember that time…” You remembered, we laughed. “Have you hit this yet?” I pointed to the jubilee of candy round my neck. You hit it (top left). Awesome.
Unfortunately, we were split up soon thereafter by the Pushor Parade (right), never to speak again. Well at least not until the next party.
Why is it that there are certain people we only talk to at parties? That little bit of awkwardness that can be surpassed with a few drinks is keeping you and I from having a flourishing relationship. You’ve got your friends, family, doctors and acquaintances. I say we abolish the latter! Instead of only talking to you when I’m cornered or drunk I’m going to learn everything about you. From your favourite movie to what you do when you’re alone. Creepy?

-Teck
Dance up on me

The Blog has begun

2006-01-21T00:33:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time comin'. I have finally decided to take a whack at this whole bloggin' thing. As you may or may not know there are thousands of blogs out there. A blog is kind of like an online journal that many use as a tool to rant, inform or just talk about there day. I intend to do all three and if you would like you can accompany me on this journey.

Working at Wal-Mart affords me certain privileges such as seeing the kind of scum our world produces. So, frequenting this blog you be able to understand the insanity that consumes some people.

But ranting is not all this web log will afford you. Oh no! You will also be informed on the subjects I know most about. I’ll try my best to keep you up on advances in the world of technology, security flaws (for you Windows users out there), Helpful tools and apps and some cool stuff that you might not know about.

Along with the rest you’ll be kept up to date on what’s new in my world. I’m glad you’ve joined me and hope to see you again soon.

Check ya later!

-Teck

Edit: I'd love it if you would leave your thoughts behind in the comments section. Thanks!